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Jupiter Ascending - Desk Jockey Five Second Review

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Jupiter Ascending
There Will Be Games

In an age of remake upon remake...oh I mean "reboots"...to have an original sci-fi movie come out is quite exciting. It's too bad that under the veneer of originality is just a mushy paste of ideas cribbed from other movies from cannibalizing the bullet time in the Matrix to the mysterious bodyguard from The Terminator to the hero in the vacuum of space without a spacesuit from Guardians of the Galaxy. It stars Mila Kunis who I know can act because I saw it with my own eyes in the movie The Book of Eli. It's too bad it's the Mila from That 70's Show that appears in this film. It must have had a huge budget for special effects. It's too bad that rapid cuts and sensory overload make them all but incomprehensible to the eye.  It has interesting villains with mysterious motives. It's the heroes that fall flat. With mumbled expositions that can barely be deciphered into understandable words let alone a sympathetic cause.  And it has things that just plain suck. The love story without chemistry, the crappy earth family, and don't even get me started on the space-rollerblades. It's a movie of "too bads" and "might have been"s.

There Will Be Games Jupiter Ascending

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