The Lego Ninjago Movie - Barney's Incorrect Five Second Reviews

The Lego Ninjago Movie - Barney's Incorrect Five Second Reviews

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Black BarneyBlack Barney   October 16, 2017  
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Having been able to resist bringing 6-year old Emily to The Emoji Movie or Nut Job 2, finally a movie that looks OK enough comes out for kids that I rushed her to the theatre...

...and fell into a deep, deep sleep. I'm really hoping that the people behind these Lego movies see that you can't just throw the same formula at it over and over again. It's not always going to work. It's not awful or anything, it's probably even passable. It is just really nowhere near the quality of the past two Lego movies.

Part of it is the really lazy and repetitive screen-writing. How often is Lloyd (green ninja) going to confront his father with the same shtick!? "you sure you have nothing else you want to say to me?! that's it?" ugh.

The other part is that the voice acting is not on the same level as the other ones. Justin Theroux is no Will Arnett or Will Farrell, and I kept thinking Dave Franco was the kid from Ender's Game. I wish more airtime had been given to Kumail Nanjiani who was great, and I didn't even realize Fred Armisen was in this.

The last part, and important to me, is the jokes just don't land as well. I like Jackie Chan playing songs from Annie on his flute, but that's about it.

The visuals are getting a little too busy as well. I think my eyes get overloaded with all the stuff going on and it just knocks me right out. However, Emily liked it overall and that's really all that matters. She still keeps talking about the cat in it so I'm glad that worked. I'm still trying to figure out if it was a real cat or CGI. I honestly can't tell. Must be CGI...?

Why are there three directors anyway? That must be the problem.... or maybe its the eight writers. What the hell.

Heart rating: 2.5 stars (i just wanted it to end, it feels long for 90 minutes)

Brain rating: 3 stars

Posted: 16 Oct 2017 15:26 by Hex Sinister #255797
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Explain to me why they would name a children's movie Nut Job 2.
Posted: 16 Oct 2017 15:46 by Michael Barnes #255799
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Here's the problem with this movie.

Ninjago is fucking LAME.

The end.
Posted: 16 Oct 2017 15:51 by bfkiller #255800
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Can we just merge this thread with My Toilet is Sinking Into Hell?
Posted: 16 Oct 2017 16:14 by Black Barney #255803
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This is the first I've ever heard about Ninjago and as I'm watching the movie I am absolutely amazed at how it completely rips off both Avatar (last airbender) and Power Rangers at the same time. I was expecting the vehicles to merge into Voltron at one point.


yeah, I was talking about Nut Job 2 today at work and everyone thought i was making an inappropriate joke. It's totally a real movie. i never even heard of the first Nut Job one.
Posted: 16 Oct 2017 16:18 by Joebot #255804
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Michael Barnes wrote:
Here's the problem with this movie.

Ninjago is fucking LAME.

The end.

As a lifelong Lego fan, I can confirm.

Lego's product line has been taken over by third-party IP (Star Wars, Marvel, DC, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, and on and on). Ninjago is their most popular homegrown IP in ages, so they are milking the everlasting shit out of it, even if it is a really weird theme. My son (8 years old) has a bunch of Ninjago sets. The figures are neat, especially the bad guys, but the vehicles are just bizarre. It's like a sci-fi / ninja / steampunk thing that I just don't get at all.

Anyway, I haven't seen the movie yet, but will probably be taking my son to see it tomorrow. I'm not excited.
Posted: 16 Oct 2017 16:57 by jeb #255806
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Joebot wrote:
Michael Barnes wrote:
Here's the problem with this movie.

Ninjago is fucking LAME.

The end.

As a lifelong Lego fan, I can confirm.

Lego's product line has been taken over by third-party IP (Star Wars, Marvel, DC, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, and on and on). Ninjago is their most popular homegrown IP in ages, so they are milking the everlasting shit out of it, even if it is a really weird theme. My son (8 years old) has a bunch of Ninjago sets. The figures are neat, especially the bad guys, but the vehicles are just bizarre. It's like a sci-fi / ninja / steampunk thing that I just don't get at all.

Anyway, I haven't seen the movie yet, but will probably be taking my son to see it tomorrow. I'm not excited.
My 6yo just dropped $130 of his own damn money on a big fat Ninjago boat or something. He was in hog heaven. He'd gotten like two identical little $10 Ninjago sets and a game that wasn't for his age (and sucked). We said we'll get store credit for those and he can replace the duped Lego set. So he saunters over to the Lego aisle and looks over each box carefully (this is at Target, so there's like 3 Lego aisles). He notes that this huge boat one "has the most guys." It also has 2300 pieces. But he really wants this. We try to find out if he just wants dudes--we can get dudes, tons of dudes. But this is what he's after. He had birthday money from two sets of grandparents and some visiting overseas relatives and there you go. We have a big Ninja boat.

He spent the next three damn days putting it together. Sometimes the older kids would chip in. At one point they had a kanban going where the little one is building and the older ones are sorting and calling out the pieces needed next in walkie-talkie lingo. "We need two shiny brown 2x4 thicks and a ringy-dingy golden. Over." It was awesome.

As for Ninjago sucking... fine. Whatever. I liked the stupidest shit as a kid. MadBallz? M.A.S.K.? Muscle Men? It's all bullshit. At least I can use the remnants of this set to build colorful Millenium Falcons in a couple of years.
Posted: 16 Oct 2017 17:23 by Vlad #255808
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My son is a big fan of Ninjago TV show, so I know a bit about it. Like Jeb says, I'm nobody to judge it, coz it is not aimed at me and I watched a lot of stupid stuff when I was a kid, too.
I don't think it is more stupid than Lego shows based on Star Wars, even kinda less so, because at least it is original IP.
I was surprised that Ninjago movie played it loose with series "mythology", and changed voice actors. I think they wanted to make that world bigger than it has any right to be, and it obviously backfired.
But, for the record, I didn't like it less than Lego Batman. I spent roughly the same amount of time half-drowsing and hoping for them to end soon. I think both of them stink for trying to replicate Lego Movie.
Posted: 16 Oct 2017 17:33 by Black Barney #255809
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I think YOU stink
Posted: 16 Oct 2017 18:29 by Vlad #255810
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I'd rather watch Ninjago and Lego Batman back to back than Moonlight.

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