What I Love About Ameritrash
Written by Ken B.
April 13, 2007
Alright, instead of my usual droning spiel, I thought I'd just give you guys some Friday thoughts about things I love to do during your typical AT game.
THINGS I LOVE:
1. Drawing a card that causes me to look at my position on the board and my opponent's position on the board, then smiling.
2. Moving my space fleet into yours...unleashing a barrage of PDF and anti-fighter fire...crushing your Dreadnaughts, breaking your back, and leaving you humble.
3. Using my plastic warrior and his gun/sword to mercilessly dispatch creatures and/or your plastic warriors.
4. Finding Items and/or Equipment that will make my plastic warrior all the more skilled at mercilessly dispatching creatures and/or your plastic warriors.
5. Rounding a corner in a dungeon-crawl game to come face-to-face with a beast that should only exist in your nightmares.
6. Smiling, making nice with you, only to smash your people when it suits me.
7. Seeing my piles of plastic armies occupying more territory this turn than they did last turn.
8. Making fun of you as you're eliminated and forced to go get chips for everybody.
9. Leaping from the darkness and attacking Mina Harker, attempting to at long last claim my bride.
10. Using Greyjoy and driving all your little boats into the deep blue sea.
11. Tossing fistfuls of dice and seeing all those little hit icons come up...it's almost like Christmas.
12. Eating one of your little non-unique shmoes with "Chompy" in a game of Heroscape.
13. Cutting down Qui-Gon Jinn with a flurry of double-bladed lightsaber action.
14. Calling Order 66 and bending the entire galaxy to my will.
15. Using the Witch King to crush Minas Tirith, demolishing man's so-called "White City".
16. Talking in very bad accents as my limo-riding goons do a merciless drive-by of your crime boss.
17. Having Hulk drop a bookcase on Elektra.
18. Hitting you with damage that makes you check the rules to see if damage actually goes that high.
19. Running down your troops with Austrian cavalry, dicing your little mens into bits.
20. Hiding under the desk while a gaggle of Zombies chomps your brains out. Sorry, "Survival of the Fittest", yo
Have a good weekend, everybody!