Gaming Tips for New Parents

1. the Baby Bjorn sling is an essential PS3 accessory; the newborn will sleep through the constant gunfire of Call Of Duty: Black Ops even at high volume

2. item #1 notwithstanding, you're not going to have time for gaming, so buy the Collector's Edition of Batman: Arkham City; then you can at least look at the plastic Batman through the shrink-wrap while you're trying to lull baby to sleep

3. Tichu for iPhone is quite good if, for some reason, you find yourself sleeping on the floor in the maternity ward for a week

4. Zelda is a cool baby name. Reiner is not.

5. Don't buy Dreadfleet in the hope that baby will play it with you when she's 12. Other exciting games and upgraded rereleases of all of today's titles will be available by then. And your kid will only be interested in NASCAR and bad Auto-Tune music, anyhow.

6. To get your gaming fix in, consider turning baby-related activities into "games:" how many loads of laundry can you do in one day? How far did the stream go when he peed mid-diaper change? Which parent can get baby to produce the loudest belch?

7. Don't tell your spouse/partner that you rate the baby a "strong seven."