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Schweig's Schimpf und Schande 05 Schweig's Schimpf und Schande 05 Hot

In the Wee Small Hours

schw_invade


Simon is a Fortress: Ameritrash staff cartoonist.

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Comments (35)
  • avatarBlack Barney

    are those wood cubes or dice?

  • avatarjeb

    So true, USPS screws you on the bullet damage. ~I hope you got insurance!~

  • avatarmjl1783

    A USPS carrier actually takes the time to check and see if somebody might be home to receive the package instead of just hurling it onto your porch from the sidewalk in the pouring rain?

    Oh, golly. The lunacy...

  • avatarclockwirk

    Is that supposed to be superflytnt?

  • avatarMattLoter

    I like that it looks like Jay but he's dressed like me. No way would Jay (or Pete who I'm guessing it is supposed to be) end up rocking a purple jumpsuit!

    Also, "Who invades my home at this early hour" is a gloriously awkward phrasing to imagine someone yelling.

  • avatarSouthernman

    Any characters is this cartoon that resemble actual people, either living or dead, is purely coincidental.

    Pete has much more respect for his games and is a better shot.

  • avatarSchweig!

    Yes, it's supposed to be Pete, so naturally the box contains dice not wooden cubes. But I'm sure if his wife told him to wear a purple pyjama he would fucking do that!

    Also, mjl, I don't really know about the postal services in the USA, only that if you get a damaged parcel you can't blame USPS, but UPS will reimburse you. Or something like that.... Well, regardless, in the village where I grew up the mailman would put parcels in your unlocked shed or some other place if you told him to, so that's were I'm coming from with this cartoon.

    Dammit now I've explained the whole joke again.

  • JJJJS

    "Who invades my home at this early hour!!!" :)

  • avatarmjl1783

    Yes, Schweig!, I got the joke.

    The "lunacy" in my joke is the fact that the mailman in the cartoon is a conscientious, diligent worker. The mail carriers I deal with clearly don't give a shit, know they don't have to give a shit, and act accordingly.

  • avatarSchweig!

    I didn't mean to suggest that you needed the joke explained. I simply told that the postmen I know are like the one in the cartoon.

  • avatarNotahandle

    That's not a purple jumpsuit . . . it's a purple meeple costume.

  • avatarMichael Barnes

    WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE MAILMEN

    Yeah, "Who invades my home at this early hour"...oh man...I can't stop laughing.

    If it weren't for the gun, I wouldn't know it was Pete though. I would have thought it was Telly Savalas. But yeah, the gun...that's Pete alright.

    Wait...is the mailman supposed to be Loter? Or just a garden variety liberal?

  • avatarSchweig!

    Loter will be in #7. Next up is Southernman.

  • avatarSagrilarus


    I'd wager Pete ain't swinging a Russian gun at his house.

    S.


  • avatarHatchling

    Hilarious. Well done, Schweig!

  • avatarscissors

    Nice cartoon but where's the seatbelt?

    Purple silk pajamas.

  • avatarscissors

    Come to think of it, if the postman was L:oter the bullets would have bounced off the wrench in his mouth.

  • avatardan daly
    Quote:
    Pete has much more respect for his games and is a better shot.

    Better shot? That's center mass on a moving target! Boardgames provide concealment not cover. The damage to the game is unfortunate, but the hostile is bleeding out on the floor.

    Quote:
    I'd wager Pete ain't swinging a Russian gun at his house.

    Looks like a Saiga semi-auto 12 gauge shotgun. Good choice for home defense. Of course now that he has a nice gun, he should probably spend the money on some door locks.

  • avatarSouthernman

    Sagrilarus said:

    Quote:
    I'd wager Pete ain't swinging a Russian gun at his house.


    I think in a Trashtalk thread last year Pete mentioned he had an AK47.

    Schweig! said:

    Quote:
    Loter will be in #7. Next up is Southernman.


    Oi ! What you talking about Willis >:( ?!!!
    You take all the fun out of guessing who it may be by announcing it :D.

  • avatarSuperflyTNT

    I'm so suing for libel; I'm not completely bald...I have 3 tufts in the back...

  • avatarJonJacob

    I love the complete lack of empathy... for the human that is.

  • avatarSuperflyTNT

    "Your door was unlocked so I thought I'd bring in the package"...
    is not an invitation to enter. 1 count trespassing.

    In Kentucky, armed trespassers may be shot if a "reasonable person" is in fear for their lives. With the recent burglary nearby, the "shooter" in this case may be justified due to the "non-customary" practice of mail clerks entering a residence, unannounced, with a package.

    I believe, in this comic, that the homeowner was in fear for his life as the tresspasser could have been "dressed" as a postal worker in order to avoid suspicion if seen illegally entering the house. Furthermore, the decedent's right hand appears to be reaching into the bag, presumably for a micro Uzi to murder the homeowner and take his (meager) posessions.

    Justifiable homicide.

  • avatarSan Il Defanso

    So Schweig, does this mean that each F:ATtie will get their own cartoon? I sincerely hope so.

    This might be my favorite ever, by the way.

  • avatarBlack Barney

    wow, i can't wait for mine.

  • avatarmjl1783

    I got one, but it was an animated .gif, and I was being sodomized by Skeletor.

    Needless to say, I was very offended, and am planning to shoot Schweig! on sight should the opportunity arise.

  • avatarSuperflyTNT

    The more I look at the cartoon, the more I realize that the character looks less like me than a Viet Cong irregular from back during the war. Pajamas, hawkish eyes, AK...all he needs is one of those conehead hats.

    http://jspivey.wikispaces.com/file/view/300px-Vietcong1968.jpg/34422035/300px-Vietcong1968.jpg

  • avatarBlack Barney

    haha, look at that silly little fella. They'll never win the war.


    the more I look at the cartoon, the more I LOVE the 2nd panel. It's just so awesome. BLAM!

  • avatarSchweig!

    Ah, hey Pete you didn't change your avatar because of this cartoon, did you?

    Also, pretty sure that's a SKS in the image, not an AK-47. I thought you knew your guns... ;)

    Quote:
    haha, look at that silly little fella. They'll never win the war.


    You're kidding, right? I can't tell sometimes because you say so many strange things all day long.

    Quote:
    I got one, but it was an animated .gif, and I was being sodomized by Skeletor.


    Glad you remember. :*

  • avatarSuperflyTNT

    No, I changed my avatar to the one I use normally. That's my Google profile one, the flaming nuclear blast con skull is the one I use on every other site. I guess I changed it because I realized that it was up here...hadn't really thought of it before. I try to keep all the personas unified. ;)

    Yes, that is not only an SKS, but a Russian SKS. The blade bayonet is the giveaway. I think that's probably a '56-'58 model based on the maple. I actually own the exact same rifle, in fact, although mine has a scope mount and a flash suppressor/muzzle break. Great hunting gun, way more accurate than an AK.

  • avatarNotahandle

    superflytn wrote: "In Kentucky, armed trespassers may be shot if a "reasonable person" is in fear for their lives."
    Yeah, but in Kentucky "armed" means having those things that dangle down from the shoulders. And of course NO "reasonable person" lives in Kentucky.

    "No, I changed my avatar to the one I use normally."
    Actually I think you changed it because:-
    "I'm so suing for libel; I'm not completely bald..."
    It's not a nuclear blast skull, it's the afternoon sun shining blindingly off your baldness. ;)

    By the way, did I miss a F:AT Memo? Everyone seems to be changing their bloody avatars for the New Year...

  • avatarBlack Barney
    Quote:
    You're kidding, right? I can't tell sometimes because you say so many strange things all day long.

    yeah, totally kidding. Stupid internets is a bad medium for my humour sometimes.

  • avatarJonJacob

    Notahandle... Watch it! This is one Canadian who loves Kentucky, home of Bill Monroe, where the grass is blue and grown men sing beautiful harmonies.


    ...and where Pete kills mailmen. This is the new postal.

  • avatarSuperflyTNT

    JJ, what Shweig! didn't mention is that my youngest child looks a hell of a lot like the mailman....he had that a'killin coming!

    Nota, when I first found the Fort, I was on my desktop PC that had recently been rebuilt, and I hadn't loaded on all of my "stuff" except the music and photos. That photo that I have for my Google Profile (the one with me driving) is the only one that I had that was reasonably recent and so I tossed it in there. I'm not much of an avatar fiend, so I really never noticed much. When the cartoon came out, I realized (subconsciously, I suppose) that I had never changed it, and that people from BGG and the Fort sometimes cross over, so I figured now was as good a time as any to change it out to my "normal" one.

    And you're almost right...the "nuclear blast" is actually the result of a high-energy focused beam of light from my shiny forehead striking the ground and incinerating the locals. ;)

  • avatarNotahandle

    JonJacob wrote: "Notahandle... Watch it! This is one Canadian who loves Kentucky"
    So you're admitting that you're not reasonable??

    superflytnt wrote: "And you're almost right...the "nuclear blast" is actually the result of a high-energy focused beam of light from my shiny forehead striking the ground and incinerating the locals"
    I suspected there was a reason your handle started with "super!

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