Where are your games? Displayed?

Shellhead wrote:

Michael Barnes wrote: I hide my games because they do not represent me or my family, and our living spaces should represent both me and my family. I do not enforce my hobbies on my family, even though my kids like games. I do have a couple of their games out, like Jeff said, because they're in view and accessible for them.

We have no "nerd" artwork or posters up. If you want to make your adult home look like a dorm room, a good way to do that is to put up nerd posters. I'm much happier (and prouder) of our Jackson Pollack print from his first show at MOMA and some original animal artwork that a local artist did for us.

The bottom line for me is that displaying all the nerd stuff is awesome when you're unmarried, living in an apartment, have the guys over to drink and watch shitty movies or whatever...but it's a matter of personal taste too, and if you're cool with that when you're 150 years old or whatever then that's your thing. But it is subject to Barnes' Patented Arbitration of What is Good and Bad.

Barnes, I think you raised some great points, and also moved this topic towards broader questions that interest me, especially with the paragraphs I quoted above. Questions, for you or anybody else willing to tackle them:

Is your home decorated in a way that expresses your interests and personality? How so?

Should people be ashamed of nerd culture? Why? Is mainstream culture better? In what ways?

Has nerd culture become more mainstream in the last 20 years? To what degree?

What kind of people do you welcome into your home on a regular basis? Extended family, most likely, but what about friends? Friends that share your interests? Friends that don't share your interests? Neighbors? Co-workers? More to the point, to what degree do you feel the need to conceal your interests from the people that you invite into your home? Why?

I'm not asking these questions to make a specific point, I'm just thinking about these issues myself. I finally bought a house in October of 2011, but I haven't really decorated it yet. In part, I have been reluctant to go to the trouble of fully unpacking and decorating, because within 60 days of buying, it became apparent that my job was at risk. And the whole company finally folded last fall and I have been unemployed ever since. And I put off the whole housewarming party thing for too long, because I was waiting for my girlfriend to finish getting her two degrees and then move in with me. So just a few family members have been in my house, and then a bunch of friends and gamers.

Good questions, Shellhead, and I'm still killing time here this last week.

"You are not what you own" - Fugazi

The above statement resonated with me quite a bit when I was young. I don't wear genre shirts, or band tees. In fact, only two or three shirts with any sort of actual image or text on them. Mainly, just grey tees, baseball sleeves (not because I'm a sports fan, but because I like the simplicity of the generic white torso and colored sleeve), or a few pearl snaps. I work on this with my kids as well. Playing Angry Birds the video game is fine. Watching Clone Wars the cartoon, cool. Spending money on licensed crap to be a free walking advertisement, not cool. The kids are only allowed two shirts with licensed characters on them and so far they've been totally cool with it. They're fine wearing simple stripes or solids, or some generic picture (say, a soccer ball). It's definitely made clothes shopping easier as they don't whine and moan to wear superhero movie shirts or some other god-awful tee they see everyone else wear.

So, this goes for our house as well. No fantasy or sci-fi posters up. The house isn't adorned with things I'm into (Legomancers 'being into being into' phrase comes to mind) but more the type of space that we find relaxing and peaceful. We strive to go more for a spa or retreat type vibe (can be tough with kids and their stuff around) because we've found that to be a very pleasant atmosphere. Yeah, I'd love to have a chess board set up and such, but ultimately that sort of stuff just adds to a clutter feel(in our opinion).

Regarding nerd culture. I'm f'n sick of it. I'm tired of the constant fan wank on my FB feeds. Dr. Who, Game of Thrones, Marvel Movies, Walking Dead, Star Wars/Trek...it seems everyone is a fan, and expert, on all this crap. Folks that I know weren't into this stuff 'back in the day'. Hell, people can enjoy what they want, but I disassociate myself from it. However, posting pictures and claiming you are 'Dad of the Year' because you took photos of the family in superhero capes, isn't anything outstanding. Hell, you (individual in question) wear superhero shirts everyday, this ain't no stretch. The kids had no chance/choice otherwise. I'd say Dad of the Year is someone who goes outside his comfort zone in support of their child's interest. Also, you don't have the best wife in the world because she bought you a Buckaroo Banzai t-shirt. I'd hope she could be publicly praised for something greater, but I don't see those posts much...

(In the meat, I hang out with very few from 'nerd' circles as it were. Most of the folks I hang with would be deemed 'regular joes'. The balance is good for me if anything else. They don't have a problem playing boardgames with me because it's not about the game, or comics, or movies, but we chat up boring adult things, so it's not much different than going to the bar, but all having young kids this is at least a cheaper alternative than the bar.)

Perhaps it just cuts closer to me because I grew up in nerd culture. I feel it's worse in a lot of ways because it's childish. I don't see it as firing up the imagination of all these folks, but like we've said in the past, it's more about consumption. I also feel there's a sense of 'smugness' about it that I don't generally feel from other hobbies. Again, this may be because this one I'm more familiar with and am more sensitive to it.

Anyway, to come full circle, I do think nerd culture has permeated the mainstream, I'm not overly excited about what I perceive to see as the result, and raise my kids/family in an environment outside of it. They're sure gonna get their fill from society.

Balance.

(EDIT: Forgot the 'who my guests are' question. It's a wide assortment, friends, family, neighbors, practically anyone who stops by when I'm on the patio is offered a drink or snack. We live in a very friendly neighborhood, and I'm the 'block captain' so to speak. So, again, like Barnes mentioned, the house should reflect how we want to live as a family and not the interest of any one person, but a step further I don't think a person is defined by the crap they put on display. However...I can't help but judge and define you if you define _yourself_ by all the crap you have on display.)

(EDIT, EDIT: I'm getting cranky in my advanced age...)

I'm similar to Jeff.

Our house is decorated in a non-cluttered way, most resembling a spa or some such (although, we do try to go "all out" for holidays because I think that is a good tradition for kids). We have some professional photographs by Peter Lik --- nothing considered "nerd culture" or even "mainstream culture" (however we are defining that). The house is decorated to provide relaxation rather than express a personality (although everything is quite orderly, so there is that in common with the wife and myself).

I don't think that people should be ashamed of anything like what we are talking about. I do think that inundating yourself with such a large amount of any type of "culture" can lead to loosing yourself in the noise. Ultimately, I am much more interested in the person than the things the person is interested in. And, when getting to know a person (friend/family/whatever) it is much more interesting to peel back the layers of the person than getting a big punch in the face that says "This dude likes MtG because there is a 3' x 5' Black Lotus Poster on the wall". I'm not quite as cynical about being a "walking advertisement" for things (but I do have a visceral hate for bumper stickers). Maybe I'm just a walking contradiction.

I'm don't wear super hero T shirts, generally, although I think I have one Punisher Skull t-shirt around here. I do have a Fallout "New California Republic" T shirt, and it's probably my favorite.

I don't hang out with any "nerds". I actually know very few outside of people I've met here. The Circus group is wholly comprised of hillbillies who never played anything deeper than Risk, and that was when they were kids. I introduced them to games when I was utterly tired of playing 20 consecutive games of pool every weekend.

The funny thing is that I don't view "nerds" any differently than anyone else. I don't see the difference between a NASCAR, (insert football team here) T shirt, or anything else. People like what they like, and I don't care if it's My Little Ponies, Chicago Cubs, or whatever. It doesn't affect me, and they're not causing any trouble, so let them do what they want to do. I most assuredly have no desire to deride someone who likes something that I don't.

What cracks me up, though, is the exhibitionist culture of CosPlay, and how people get all dressed up to go to a "Con". That kills me. I'll never understand the "why", and while I have no problem with it, I can't help but laugh at how a very, very fat person gets into ultra-tight superhero costumes. Same as girls who wear a bikini-type top and G-string in public. It's like "HEY! LOOK AT ME!!! I NEVER GET ANY ATTENTION SO I DO THIS TO FULFILL SOME NEED!!!". I pity them more than anything, and I know that's condescending, but it is what it is and while I try to maintain an open mind and I try to be non-judgemental, I have a really hard time with this because unlike a superhero T-shirt, wearing whore suits DOES affect me, because I have to see it.

Sorry to be a bit of a cunt, but I am wired that way, and I try VERY hard not to be like my mom, a very VERY judgemental person who denies they are judgemental.

It's weird to see people getting laid for stuff that used to get me beat up and called a fag.

I still have some nerd shirts. An old Star Trek one, Green Lantern... maybe a Batman one kicking around. But that isn't really me... it's just a costume, hell, I don't even read Green Lantern, I just liked the logo on this one shirt.

I used to... not hate cosplayers... but tease them anyway (behind their backs). But Uba convinced me that I'm no better. I like to play dress up. I like to wear costumes (I love my fancy shoes, lots of types of hats, etc..). Sometimes it's an old woolen three piece suit my grandfather handed down, sometimes it's a cowboy type outfit for the shows we do, sometimes it's my weird bike gear and occasionally it's something weirder. I have a tailor. I occasionally custom design clothes for myself. Fuck you.

So would I run around in the park with a cape on playing super heroes with my kid... yes, if he wanted, I would.

Just the other day in fact I was running around, in public, with a stick between my legs pretending to be the Wicked Witch of the West while my son tried to throw a glass of water on me. This type of behavior is common for me.

Did I look stupid? Well, depends on who you are I guess, I really don't fucking care. I was too busy having fun.


Edit: I don't hang nerd shit up in the house, but that's because wall hangings are my wife's love and I don't bother even trying to choose what goes up there since I don't care that much. The only thing I really want on my walls are instruments so that they are accessible and encouraging me to play more. If I got to choose more I'd go for art that I like. Probably Renaissance, Medieval, Surreal and Abstract. Maybe some Native stuff, cave drawings... that kind of thing. So probably not nerd stuff, except for the John K original of my Bro and I... but that is not nerdy, it's very special.

JonJacob wrote: So would I run around in the park with a cape on playing super heroes with my kid... yes, if he wanted, I would.

Just the other day in fact I was running around, in public, with a stick between my legs pretending to be the Wicked Witch of the West while my son tried to throw a glass of water on me. This type of behavior is common for me.

Did I look stupid? Well, depends on who you are I guess, I really don't fucking care. I was too busy having fun.

I don't think you misunderstood me, Jacob, but to be clear for others, yes by all means I'm sure we'd do whatever our kids wanted to do. Thing is if my son wanted to go out and kick the soccer ball around, that's a no brainer...I'd like to do that anyway. No reason to try and get accolades for that. If one of my kids needed a parent to go with them up in a hot air balloon that would be hard for me (fear of heights) so I could see mentioning that to someone or at least feeling like I've really gone out on a limb for them.

Regarding the walking adverisements, yeah i do believe that and caution the kids against marketing all the time. Go into any Target (as an example) and the movie (it's always movies and shows) hyped for the week is all over every section of the store: DVDs, soundtracks, cereal and cookie boxes, drink labels, bikes, puzzles, skateboards, action figures, clothing, beach towels, blankets, medicine bottles, greeting cards, coloring books, video games, impulse aisle at checkout, etc. Everywhere. I would think, to the child, it would seem the natural thing to do is to immerse yourself in the flick. They are being sold the idea that they can be part of it in every portion of the store and they see a lot of peers buying in. Again, enjoy the movie, leave the shoes alone.

Even to boardgames.

When my son plays heroscape it's amazing. He's got personalities he's created for a lot of the figs and in his world the marro are always the good guys. It's fantastic to see him team-up Ne-Go-Ska with Sgt. Alexander and the back story he creates their bond with. When I borrowed epic duels it was...ho hum...star wars.

Other than my board game bookcase in the corner of my dining room there is absolutely zero nerd shit in the house. Except my bedroom currently has an Amelie poster above my movie collection and I think a Bender figure on my bookshelf. Rest of the house I share with three other renters so we keep it pretty sparse as far as decorations go. Of course we have a lot of mismatched furniture that's either different peoples or was left behind by past renters. So the place will never look stylish, but it does look like a home not a giant man-cave.

We don't have anything displayed in any of our normal living area of our house. My fiance would cut me in my sleep if I had nerd shit in our living room, dining room etc... We have a very clean/modern aesthetic on the first floor of the house. I always threaten her and say I'm gonna put my Dreamcast out for display in our dining room. The look she shoots me quietly says, 'go ahead try it...i'll put it in the driveway and back over it with my car".

Above our two car garage is a massive room...the same dimensions as the garage. It's deemed a 'media room' at the moment. That is where my videogames and boardgames reside. Also, the boardgames being in there is only temporary. We're planning on finishing our basement in the next couple of years. That is going to be bar/gaming room/man cave. For now the media room houses two bookshelves of boargames, a few retro videogame systems as well as a Mortal Kombat II arcade machine (came with the house). Most people never see this room. I'm actually toying with the idea of making a secret door to the room (like a fake bookshelf or something). Right now it's only something me and the fiance use for watching movies or when I have friends over for a game night. Again, in a few years it will change as we finish the basement.

I don't care if people want to display their nerdy shit. That is their business. If they think it's cool and their wife/girlfriend/partner is OK with it...fine by me. I'd rather have real art and nice furniture be the main focal point when people come into the house. That's just me though.

ubarose wrote: But if your living room looks like 7 year old's bedroom, I will judge you.

So will I.

But everyone judges everyone anyway. It doesn't matter. I see the typical domestic household layout, all neat and clean, and I think "boring" or "unoriginal" you see a Chuck Norris poster or a comic book rack and think "7 year old" or maybe "nerd". The thing is that home living style is so damned subjective I may judge in my mind but ultimately I realize that it means absolutely nothing. I try to leave that baggage right there in my brain.

These people may be defining themselves based on what you see in their living room but if you make that assumption before getting to know them as people you're the one who made the mistake. You end up short changing yourself.

I'm still up in the air about decorating, though my long-term girlfriend is moving in with me in June. I'm mildly displeased with the pastel pink and yellow paint in two of the bedrooms. The second floor seriously needs a new look, because the avocado and burnt orange color scheme hasn't been attractive since the early '70s.

But what about pictures? I have some framed and signed b/w fangless Bradstreet prints that my girlfriend has hinted would look better in the basement, despite the wood paneling down there clashing with the black and silver picture frames. I have an inflatable egyptian sarcophagus that color coordinates with the futon cover and hardwood floors, and she's okay with that in the living room. And a close friend gave me a big, heavy original painting (4'x5') of a very ominous cityscape that would look great with the Bradstreet prints, but my girlfriend wants that painting hanging in the living room. And then I have a colorful framed Roger Dean print of a lush jungle containing a metal pyramid, which I suspect will end up on the basement wall. A large asian fan with a screened b/w image of a rural chinese village. And a large framed photo print of Portafina, Italy. I suppose this stuff reasonably conveys my personality without shaming my girlfriend, but the distinction between the Bradstreet prints and the painting don't quite add up. I also have one nice bookcase and one very cheap bookcase, plus enough books to fill another four bookcases.

Am I ashamed to be a nerd? I don't live my life in fear of disapproval from other people. And yet I don't have the faintest urge to put up any comic book or gaming artwork on my walls. Maybe I am the product of my well-rounded upbringing. My dad pushed me to join the Boy Scouts and play some sports, plus do some fishing and car repair stuff. My mom encouraged me to do volunteer work and get involved in other school activities like newspaper staff and Model U.N. But as an adult, I spend much of my free time on gaming (rpg, boardgames, ccg, and PC), as well as yardwork and lifting at the gym. I suppose that it is enough that I have my various nerdy collections close at hand and yet discreetly stored, and I don't need to see it up on my walls every day.