Why shouldn't I play a game with you?

repoman wrote:

4) I only play cool games. So your desire to play Steam, Age of Steam, Ubongo, Rococo and Blargen von Blugleblat will be unfulfilled. Those games suck.

Age of Steam is harsh. If it isn't like a knife fight in a phone booth, you need to play on one of the smaller maps. I'll grant you, it's ugly as sin though.

You shouldn't game with me if forgetting an upkeep phase bothers you. I'll skip one at least once in a game, if we have one and something relatively small is at stake.

hotseatgames wrote: I will often make the move that is the most fun as opposed to the one that is the "best".

I do this all the time. Especially if I'm learning a game because screw it, I'm trying to figure out how everything works and not necessarily win at winning. Hardcore eurosnoots hate this. I once got called an asshole during the initial setup phase of In the Shadow of Emperor.

I like to chit-chat, but I hate when someone has been talking through everyone else's turn and then their turn comes and they bring the entire game to complete halt because they have no idea what the state of the game is. If you say, "Oh is it my turn?" after we've already been waiting five minutes on you then you might receive a flying D20 to the head in the affirmative.

I'm always thinking about my next move during other players' turns. I'm pretty ready to roll when my turn comes around if I can be. I don't understand when other players don't play this way.

I end up teaching/explaining a lot of games. It's OK if people miss a rule or two because let's face it: being told how to play a game isn't as fun as playing a game. What I don't like is when during the game someone asks a rules question and I start to answer, only to be interrupted by someone else who thinks they know the rule and just have to talk about it. If you do that I'll call you on it. If you do it twice I'll pass you the rulebook and stop answering questions.

Sometimes I get too drunk. Depends on the crowd. I don't tend to be the only drunk, but I might be the smiliest one because under the table I'm holding the biggest die I could find and just waiting to throw it.

When listening to rules, I always interrupt and ask questions to clarify. Other than that, I've never had anyone get pissed at me.

My worst feature when gaming is that I always do stuff quickly without explaining to others at the table what I am doing. My turns are often "My guys move here, these two guys of yours are dead. Your turn", and people are very often bewildered as to what the hell just happened.

Also people always complain that when I explain the rules I leave out one or two things and then exploit other people's lack of knowledge of these rules in the first game they see. I will concede I do tend to leave out situational rules to get people to focus on the important concepts, as they are rarely understood out of the context of playing the game, but will bring them up the first time they are relevant (even if the new player can exploit me with it, its just that the new player is much less likely than an experienced player to hit the relevant situation).

1) I will refuse to shuffle your fat decks of sleeved cards, and then I will incessantly complain about them during the game.

2) I will refuse to pull the individual wrapped pieces out of your 1000 baggies during set-up, and to put them back into the baggies during tear-down.

3) You will lose.

dave wrote: 1) I will refuse to shuffle your fat decks of sleeved cards, and then I will incessantly complain about them during the game.

2) I will refuse to pull the individual wrapped pieces out of your 1000 baggies during set-up, and to put them back into the baggies during tear-down.

3) You will lose.

You heartless bastard.

I seem too emotional. I may whine, I may brag or trash talk. I curse too much, I'm socially aggressive when there's no need to be. I think all of it is funny.

I say inappropriate things on occasion, very inappropriate. I make lewd sexual suggestions. I meta game incessantly, I manipulate the group, I may turn people against you, in fact I probably will. Never trust anything I say, all my trash talk, bragging, whining... it's all being done for a reason and that reason can change from game to game and day to day.

I may show up high, I may get high while there (or drunk) but I'm used to it and will still play like a pro. I may make lots of bad jokes during the game, and even more bad puns - if you don't think they're funny, don't worry, I'll laugh enough at them for both of us. I quite often make moves because they seem like fun things to do regardless of strategy (or just because I haven't done it before).

I organize all my little armies like I'm rain man, I fidget with my nuts too much. I'm proud of a good loud fart. If you take too long to TAKE YOUR FUCKING TURN.. I will call you names and accuse you of putting your success ahead of our fun. I don't give a fuck if the rules are right or not (but I'll side with right if that's what it comes down to).

I can be anal about how the board looks and will adjust things on it sometimes. I may dance and scream at successes and failures... it can be pretty obnoxious. After a particularly good roll I frequently jump for joy and make loud horrible noises. I don't mind wiggling my ass in your face after that... in fact you can count on it.

There's a reason I only game with friends, me at a con... fuck that... for everyone's benefit.

My personality is like Scotch... you have to acquire a taste for it.

I tend to be a bit pushy in getting you to make your move and take your turn. My former group tended to drag games out way, way too long.

I take a sportsman's approach to gaming: Other than being rude or cheating I have absolutely no qualms when it comes to advancing my board position. I'll raise bids and block and lie and will betray my girlfriend for a single dollar. I think players have to strive to win for games to work properly and become dissapointed if they don't.

But I'm not one of those players that play for the mental exercise, like JonJacob I really enjoy the rollercoaster of emotions that a game can provide and I like bragging, trash talking and laughing at my own misfortune. If I dish it out, it's because I also want some back!

I try to keep my games in the best condition I can, I see no reason to bend the cards or cover the board in Cheetos. I don't allow drinks on the table either, it's a stupid risk.

The airfare will kill you.