Why shouldn't I play a game with you?

I drink....a lot

I don't drink. At all.



Edit: Seriously, that stuff tastes awful. I don't know how you do it.

I'm pretty impatient. I don't have a lot of tolerance for AP, backtracking, people forgetting crucial things (especially after the third time they've been reminded), and other dillydallying. I like it when folks are involved in a game, but not when it's at the cost of the other players actually playing.

I don't mind some trash talk but I have no time for overly aggressive/competitive players.

There's always drinking going on and I partake myself, but if you're flat out drunk, I don't want to play. I don't find drunk people interesting or fun, and reducing a game to just drunken chaos isn't any better for me than not playing at all.

If you insist on making constant nerd references during the game, you'll have to put up with me rolling my eyes.

I probably won't win whatever we're playing because I'm not that great at games in general. And I know this. So your threats, intimidation, bullshit "negotiation", and other nonsense won't have any effect on me. Telling me not to play a certain card or else you'll wreck all my shit just gets me to shrug and say, "okay". It's not that I don't play my best or to win, but I've built up a tolerance to losing and don't have a problem with it.

So I guess what it comes down to is that I'm a "fun" murderer.

I want gaming to be social, except when I'm thinking through a turn. Once I ate a huge bowl of homemade chili. My wife puts all this cracked wheat in it, or used to. We were on the last turn of some Days of Wonder variation on Candy Land that takes place in a coliseum, and I was figuring out my amazing, come-from-behind game winning move when a thunderous, quaking fart escaped me, rattled against the cheap plastic chair and bled into the stuffy atmosphere.

Nobody said anything.