Secret Satan 2016 Results!

It's probably my fault. I wrote some letters to Homeland Security and NSA that included phrases such as "Brownshirts" and "hope you are enjoying fucking your fists in dark rooms whilst viewing legions of dick pics illegally".

Since then my luggage is always inspected and I get "additional screening" more often than statistics would advise.

So I was on the way back home from my holidays when I saw this

and then there was this!



And I neweth that the two were connected



So i wielded my trusty bolt clippers
But they could not defend me from what would come.


YES YES


I tried to Veto it, i really did!

Ahh, Joy!
But no TI23 was within!

Instead this!

and this!, a 3m Sports Game called Speed Circuit, Cyclades, a pen made from magnets! some weird comics, some magic cards, a box of Diablo 2 with all its tome like manuals (remember when videya games had manuals) and some strange code that looks like a strip cut from the middle of a letter. Can't quite make out the hand writing. What does it mean WHAT DOES IT MEAN! Thanks for Cyclades Satan, it is a sweat game!

TI2 has held up. We still play it.

And we still play Speed Circuit.

So, I came home on Christmas Eve to find the following putrescent pile of shattered dreams waiting for me:


I can't say if it was the intent, but the entire effort put me in mind of the sort of gift I would expect to receive from a seldom-visited, elderly aunt who was almost familiar enough with my hobby to make an informed purchase. And now I feel bad for mocking my imaginary aunt, so that's a point for Secret Satan, I guess?

Anyway, first there was the non-game stuff. It included scratched DVD copies of The Talented Mr. Ripley and Memoir of a Geisha.There was also a TPB copy of Superman: True Brit (wut?), the novel Soon I Will be Invincible, some japanese game cartridge for a console with which I'm not familiar, and a DVD. I've heard of the book before but never gotten around to reading it, so I read it soon after opening the package and it was, surprisingly, pretty good. Upon inspection it looked like the DVD's were probably lost causes, so I popped in the DVD and saw:

The zip files were a shitload of PnP Warhammer Quest stuff and I think I already have most of it, but cross-referencing is a project for another day if I ever get around to it at all (This is the part where my imaginary elderly aunt said, "This is like that Brimstone game he likes to play, he'll like this!"). I of course immediately opened the Pandemic Legacy-esque "DO NOT OPEN EVER" folder to see:

This is the part where my imaginary aunt stopped taking her meds for several weeks. Both Ecco folders are soundtracks for Ecco the Dolphin games, there's a random DS9 episode from season 4 and the Kaiju Big Battel in 3D is a video of people dressed as kaiju getting down to some pro wrasslin'-style action (W.T.F.?!). The Kamandi and The Demon folders are digital versions of those comics and those actually look pretty kick-ass (love me some Kirby), so I'll definitely be reading those.
As for the games, there was some already-printed PnP WHQ stuff:

It included spiral-bound copies of the WHQ Adventure Book, Catacombs of Terror Expansion, Lair of the Orc Lord Expansion (including map tiles), the Roleplay book, and cards for the Chaos Warrior, Elf Ranger and Witch Hunter.
And finally, a mixed lot of cards from the World of Warcraft CCG, picked up by my imaginary aunt because the nice boy at the game shop told her that it was "just like Hearthstone.":

It includes a never-played copy of the Onyxia Raid Deck, plus a ton of other cards that I know nothing about (other than the fact that there aren't any Loot cards, that is), but it's neat to see which art Blizzard reused for Hearthstone.

Thanks, Satan!

I assure you, kaiju big battel is the best part of that package.
Kaiju furries are the next big thing in sexual deviancy.

It's got to be the best part - it's the 2D Special Edition of the 3D Big Battel!

I just got back to work where I was greeted by multiple packages from multiple outposts of evil. As soon as I sift through it all and catalogue it, pictures will be forthcoming.

How many sinners are non-compliant?

I'm in the process of complying -- a metric ton of brimstone arrived. Hard to organize it all.

How many sinners are non-compliant?

Well, it's January 6 with no package and not a peep. It's looking like this might be my year to get stiffed.

My package was offered at the door yesterday but since none of my neighbours was there to accept it, it will come back next week. But my SS can be satisfied: nearly there!

stop press!



Unboxing tomorrow

I had no idea you were in the Netherlands!

Forelle wrote:

How many sinners are non-compliant?

Well, it's January 6 with no package and not a peep. It's looking like this might be my year to get stiffed.

I'm in the same boat.