Secret Satan 2016 Results!

allismom3 wrote:

Forelle wrote:

How many sinners are non-compliant?

Well, it's January 6 with no package and not a peep. It's looking like this might be my year to get stiffed.

I'm in the same boat.

If this is what happened, it sucks. It feels like someone draws that short straw every year.

If it makes you feel any better, the year after I got stiffed, Old Scratch gifted me like ten Talisman expansions. Maybe you'll get a REALLY good one next year.

Let us make sure that no child is left behind.

Hopefully no one is stiffed. The Comp-u-Tron can settle things in its sinister ways. I want to come back here and post an update on mine though. Being a massive nerd with nerd glasses and a weird nerd body, I decided to read the rules to FORTRESS AMERICA. So I crack open the SALMON RUN (whadda joker!) box and start looking for them, and find... SALMON RUN! It's not a box switch—SALMON RUN is in there, with all the FA stuff! I laugh a little and start looking for the rules and find the guts of RISK: BATTLEFIELD ROGUE! Daviau's hidden gem from 2014! And a little note on a 90-year-old (!!) shelf toad proclaiming as much on my copy of TOURING.



And that bag of stuff that said to open it if I was playing a boring Euro was some utterly sweet D6s, including CRAPS dice, which are my absolute favorite! I know they are tossed by the casino because they weren't trued somehow, but they are definitely more true than the rounded-off shit that gets packed with most games.

Seriously, Satan, praise your hellish ways. You are the true king.

Last year the Lord of Flies sent me two packages in boxes for Fortress America, and Broadsides & Boarding Parties. What a tease.

SALMON RUN! It's not a box switch—SALMON RUN is in there, with all the FA stuff! I laugh a little and start looking for the rules and find the guts of RISK: BATTLEFIELD ROGUE!

Satan hates boxes and box inserts; storage space is limited in Hell.

Jeb - Everything necessary to actually play all the games should be in there.

Hard to figure out where to start on this one. Still stuck in a WTF feeling, to be honest. Because Satan has been scary this year. Very scary.



Now, I've been gifted by Satan before and the stuff's been good. Very good at times. But never has the Dark Lord come under my skin. Let's look at the list:

I have been wearing my love for Lovecraftian horror on my sleave, so perhaps the Victorian Fantasy link is not the toughest to make.



Similarly, I have made it very clear in places that I've written a book on the Waterloo campaign. So gifting me Lachouque's famous Anatomy of Glory looks a safe gift. Beautiful edition. But then again, how did Satan know I didn't have it already?

The issue of the Journal of Military History on the War of 1812. If you read my blog , you might have noticed I have an interest in this period. Brilliant find and very useful for my future research on this period.

The same with Sinews of War on US army logistics: somehow Satan must know that I have Thompson's Lifeblood of War, van Creveld's Supplying War and Lynn's Feeding Mars on my shelf.



Herre's history of the period 1890-1925 connects to my interest in Germany in the period (stemming from my PhD research), and neatly teases me on my pursuit to find a copy of Pflugk-Harttung's history of the 1815 campaign. Satan knows how to wrap it in gold.

What Jane Austen knew and Charles Dickens Ate: well, I have this soft spot for 19th century London, but it needs some digging on my blog . This book gives good background on 19th century British (high) society.



A historical atlas of Polish history: obviously Satan knows I like history. To say I have a soft spot for Poland would be driving it too far, but I definitely have a (private) Polish connection. You have to be Satan to know, though. Scary? Yes, deeply so.

And to top all this: three series of Ren & Stimpy! That I love them is not a complete secret. But scary? Very much so!

So while these gifts are all beautiful and perfectly chosen, I'm left with that uncomfortable feeling that Satan is, well, all-knowing. And I've got to admit that part of the scary thing is that Satan told me there would be a third package. I must imagine that will contain something related to my childhood, or a lost and forgotten love. I shudder at the thought.

A second, unannounced box plopped on our doorstep today. I'll take inventory of the contents and post here later on...

Today, Satan graced me with a lovely note hailing from The Netherlands (where else would Satan reside?)

I just realized that I have been non-compliant with my second box of "presents." Here were the contents. This box arrived from Massachusetts, which wouldn't be weird except my first box arrived from Louisiana. I guess the devil gets around. Keep in mind they were scattered all over the place in the box, and I have only done the barest sorting in order to get these pictures up.

This is welcome. Every game night could use a little more Alec Baldwin.

Tom Clancy?? Why play Kremlin when I can play this undoubtedly amazing game?

(As a side note, this game in particular crapped all sorts of itty-bitty colored chits all over the place. Truly Beelzebub's curse.)

Here is a Khet like game, that to my knowledge, is not actually Khet. Still all of the pieces appear to be in there, so I guess we'll find out if that's good enough!

Oh great, Satan must have heard how much I enjoy Codenames. I'm sure this will be great for all of those church game nights.

Whoa I had no idea there was a Shadow board game. I think I was 10 or 11 when the movie came out, and for some reason I was really into it. Probably because the movie flopped and all of the crappy Kenner tie-in toys ended up getting heavily discounted at Kmart. I bought a bunch cuz I was poor. I remember being embarrassed about it and not wanting to admit to other kids that I had, like, a whole clump of Shadow action figures back home.

ANYWAY that's awesome!

I was working at Kenner when that movie came out. One day the company took everyone to the movie instead of work. That's the best thing I can say about that movie.

I kind of have a soft spot for it, but like a lot of those 90s pulpy comic movies it vacillated abruptly between being tongue-in-cheek and playing it straight. The production design and the Lady From Shanghai-style climax with the mirrors were cool, though.

Must I publicly shame the non-compliant? I know at least one of you has had your packages of "joy" for nearly a month now.

I haven't complied yet, and I have had these bad boys for two weeks. I will work on it ASAP