New groups are hard

From Tim Powers' Earthquake Country:

"Oh " Crane said. "Well, do you keep in touch with any of the guys?"

"Keep in touch? Outside the game? Scott, do you remember the plain old breakfasts?"

This time Crane did sigh. Sometimes the game had gone on for 18 hours or more, and the players had taken a break to eat at some local coffee ship at dawn; and the fractured, desperate table talk had made it stiflingly clear that none of them had anything in common with one another besides the game.

Great quote, and I enjoyed reading all three books in that run. And yet, I only found that awkwardness with the local eurogamers. The Ameritrash players do tend to share at least some other interests, like science-fiction, comic books, horror movies, etc. At least here in the Twin Cities, the guys who strictly play eurogames seem to be really awkward to talk to between games, like nothing much else in life held any interest for them.

But maybe my perspective is distorted because all of my early gaming experience was with people who were already friends or family, and we also happened to play boardgames as part of a whole spectrum of common experiences. So I kept looking to make friends while playing games, even after I moved and started over in a new town. It could be that the people who flocked to the hobby in the last 10-15 years are coming from a whole different emphasis, of games first and friendship strictly optional.

I think you hit on the problem, actually. I think lots of us started gaming by playing with friends, some of us while we were younger. When I'm socialized to play games with friends, it's hard not to look for that first. And I don't have any trouble making friends now, it's just that lucking into finding people who also really like games doesn't really happen. I know this applies to me.

Gary Sax wrote: And I don't have any trouble making friends now, it's just that lucking into finding people who also really like games doesn't really happen. I know this applies to me.

HAH! That is the truth. I make friends easily, but getting them to play these games, not so easy.

I also find I "relate" game taste wise to gamers who started gaming when I started gaming. e.g. those who played D&D in the 80's, etc.

These newly minted gamers I find I have little patience for. It sound elitists, and it probably is, but I believe gamers are raised not converted..

I can't agree more with Chapel -- the best times I usually have playing games are with people who played D&D, HeroQuest, and the old AH titles in the 80s.

I went back this week and had a better time, partly because I had a better idea what to expect. Still didn't really hit it off with anyone, but I didn't feel nearly as adrift. As soon as I came in someone spotted the Innovation boxes I was carrying in, and we got started on a great game of that with the first expansion. Also tried Masquerade for the first time and played Medici for the first time in a while.

So definitely better, but I think the $5 cover charge might be prohibitive to make it more than an occasional thing. Well, maybe not prohibitive, but not completely worth my time. (They meet in a strip mall, so the charge covers utilities.) They do bigger weekend-long events, and I might try to make it to one of those later in September, which might be a better environment for getting into a social groove.

Anyway, it was good. Still not really an ideal, but it'll do in a pinch until I can make some other friends and find some gamers more my style.

I am not sure this awkwardness is only in board gamers.

There has been a local soccer pick-up game thing I've been going to the last few months. It has been great fun and exercise. There are only about 8 to 10 guys, but I still don't know everyone's name or much about them outside of they choose to give up a weeknight to chase around a ball.

There is a fair amount of awkwardness standing around waiting for enough people to play, similar to waiting for enough people to play a game a the local game store. Once things get under way you learn guys names, playing styles and abilities.

I helped start this group, but I've shown up to various rugby practices and soccer pick-up games where no one greets me, or approaches and ask if I am new or what have you. I am not sure what my point is other than: Yes, new groups are hard.

I did meet one of my better gaming buddy through soccer.

edulis wrote: I am not sure this awkwardness is only in board gamers.

There has been a local soccer pick-up game thing I've been going to the last few months. It has been great fun and exercise. There are only about 8 to 10 guys, but I still don't know everyone's name or much about them outside of they choose to give up a weeknight to chase around a ball.

There is a fair amount of awkwardness standing around waiting for enough people to play, similar to waiting for enough people to play a game a the local game store. Once things get under way you learn guys names, playing styles and abilities.

I helped start this group, but I've shown up to various rugby practices and soccer pick-up games where no one greets me, or approaches and ask if I am new or what have you. I am not sure what my point is other than: Yes, new groups are hard.

I did meet one of my better gaming buddy through soccer.

I wonder if this is an American thing.

I play at a local futsal (soccer in a court) pick-up game and everyone hugs, greet, yell with each other. After the game we all go out for beers, talk about the gols, tease each other for dribles taken and start to know everyone and become friends.

Of course you don't necessarily like everyone, but it's cool, no problem, at least give the guy or gal a chance

'MURICA!!!!!!!! FUCK YEAH!