I've been formally diagnosed.

by my wife. She says I have Irritable Male Syndrome

The term was alternatively defined by Jed Diamond, an author and lay person, as a state of hypersensitivity, anxiety, frustration, and anger that occurs in male human beings; Diamond considered it to be part of the andropause, which he defined as hormonal, physiological, and chemical changes that occur in all middle-aged men. Diamond felt that Stress is a common trigger, especially when combined with rapid hormone changes later in life.

I think this is an attempt to get me to quit talking about her menopause. However, I am pretty bitchy lately, and stressed. I almost hit a guy the other day who was parked, blocking the exit from a parking lot. I am experiencing the two bucket theory of living in the Middle East. One is for money, and the other is for BS. When one of the buckets is full, you leave. Right now both buckets are almost full.

I even took this crappy little quiz:

www.theirritablemale.com/quiz.htm

Irritable Male Quiz results for Martin


Your score is 89. Based on the responses of more than 40,000 people who have taken the quiz and more than 40 years of clinical experience by Dr. Jed Diamond, we offer the following evaluation:

If you scored in this range irritability, anger, and frustration have your system on "red alert." This can cause damage to you physically and emotionally and can also cause great damage to your relationship.

Recommendation: Getting help should be an immediate priority in your life. Men who address these issues right away find they can reverse the damage to themselves and keep their relationships with family from deteriorating to the point where things begin to fall apart.

Although these issues can be serious they are actually quite common and there a number of different ways IMS manifests.

In doing research for the book The Irritable Male Syndrome we found that there were eight individual types of IMS. The paragraphs below list in order, the three types of IMS that scored the highest for your quiz.

Exhausted Type: Men who experience the Exhausted type are "running on empty." Their emotional batteries are depleted and they have little energy for themselves or others. They likely are having problems with sleep and wake up tired. They may get through the day, but there isn't a lot of joy in their lives. They can feel overwhelmed by what needs to be done and appear tense and irritable. If they are in relationship, intimacy suffers greatly, since they just don’t have the energy for engagement.

Before relationship issues can be addressed, the man needs support to become re-invigorated. This will often require attention to physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Once it is recognized that Exhausted-type IMS has moved into the house, things can improve. Getting a good night’s sleep can go a long way to improving things. Once energy is restored all issues of life can be better understood and dealt with more effectively.

Addictive Type: Men who experience the Addictive type can easily become hooked on substances or activities that seem to relieve the pressures of life. Guys who are addictive often feel a desperate need to relieve stress. They may eat too much, drink or use drugs, withdraw into the T.V. or the computer. They can also become workaholic. At some point the diversions become locked in and become compulsions. They lose control and are "doing it more, but enjoying it less."

One guy told me that his drug of choice was "more." These guys feel so overwhelmed with stress that they try more and more of everything in an attempt to return to a life of peace and ease. Once it is recognized that Addictive-type IMS has moved into the house, things can improve. Since addiction can take on a life of its own, getting outside help can make things a lot easier to handle.

Grumpy Type: Men who experience the Grumpy type are easily upset and hypersensitive. It may seem that any little thing bothers them and can set them off. They often feel that others are going out of their way to irritable them. They can be moody, impatient, and angry. They may blame those closest to them for the problems they are having. I describe them as "emotionally sunburned." They feel their loved ones are deliberately slapping their sunburn. The problem is that those closest to them don't realize they are "sunburned" so inadvertently hurt them without realizing it.

If issues aren't addressed the man becomes more and more unhappy and the relationship begins to deteriorate. Once it is recognized that Grumpy-type IMS has moved into the house, things can improve. Some people can work things out themselves. Others can benefit from outside support.

I don't know if that's real or some elaborate joke site, but I'm irritable as all fuck. I'm losing my fucking mind, actually.

I don't know how valid it is, but it's got me thinking about it. I'm 48 and feel like I'm mentally and physically slowly falling apart. My wife told me to get my shit together before I cross the point of no return.

Sounds like she's had enough of you. That should be a sobering thought, one way or another. I had started smoking the occassional weed and my now ex-wife said "I like high Steve a lot better than normal Steve." That's how I knew she was sick of dealing with me.

I swear that fucking thing was rigged because I had to go back and find a missing answer like 5 times. HOW ABOUT NOT LETTING ME GO TO THE NEXT PAGE UNTIL EVERYTHING IS FILLED IN, DICKS! That said, this makes sense:

Your score is 137. Based on the responses of more than 40,000 people who have taken the quiz and more than 40 years of clinical experience by Dr. Jed Diamond, we offer the following evaluation:

If you scored in this range irritability, anger, and frustration have your system on "red alert." This can cause damage to you physically and emotionally and can also cause great damage to your relationship.

Recommendation: Getting help should be an immediate priority in your life. Men who address these issues right away find they can reverse the damage to themselves and keep their relationships with family from deteriorating to the point where things begin to fall apart.

Although these issues can be serious they are actually quite common and there a number of different ways IMS manifests.

In doing research for the book The Irritable Male Syndrome we found that there were eight individual types of IMS. The paragraphs below list in order, the three types of IMS that scored the highest for your quiz.

Explosive Type: Men who experience the Explosive type are like time-bombs with a very short fuse. They may go off at any time. Often the man may know his anger is over the top and out of control, but he can't seem to control it. These guys can be impulsive and do things that cause problems later. If they are confronted, even in gentle ways, they often fly off the handle and attack. They can be sarcastic and critical and feel that they are entitled to better treatment from others. They often don't recognize that their behavior makes it very difficult for others to give them the love and respect they need, want, and deserve.

They are often very critical of others and can become quite possessive and jealous. They can be frightening to those who are close to them and their anger can turn to rage if not dealt with effectively. Once it is recognized that Explosive-type IMS has moved into the house, things can improve. Since things can become volatile, it is important to get outside help and support if problems persist or get worse.

Lonely Type: Men who experience the Lonely type often feel unloved and can become unloving. Since love is such a powerful need in everyone's life, when it seems to be lacking, men become more irritable and withdrawn. They have a deep hunger for love and care, but often push people away. They come to believe that they may not be loveable at all. They can also become quite jealous, accusing their partner of having a romantic interest in others.

They may appear bored and withdrawn, but inside they are crying out to be held and nurtured. The man may alternate between being mad and being sad. He may become increasingly depressed. Once it is recognized that Lonely-type IMS has moved into the house, things can improve. Love can be regained with patience, care, and support. Often people can work through these issues themselves, but getting outside help should be considered if problems persist or get worse.

Hostile Type: Men who experience the Hostile type often "act out" their unhappiness on others. It can be one of the most difficult types to treat since the person often is experiencing a great deal of pain and frustration. They need love and support, but they often become aggressive, demanding, and sometimes mean. They often feel that others are to blame for their unhappiness and they often push away the very people who could help them.

Underneath the destructive anger, they often feel numb and depressed. They are often very critical of themselves, but their criticism gets directed outward on to others. Fights and arguments may be frequent, though everyone would like more peace. Once it is recognized that Hostile-type IMS has moved into the house, things can improve. With strong emotional support people can work through these issues themselves, but outside help can make it a lot easier.damage can be reversed and relationships can be healed.

craniac wrote: I don't know how valid it is, but it's got me thinking about it. I'm 48 and feel like I'm mentally and physically slowly falling apart. My wife told me to get my shit together before I cross the point of no return.

I'm 53 and I have fallen apart mentally and physically but happier than I've ever been, so there's that.

I scored 37

Scored a 62: Grumpy, Fearful, Exhausted.

I'm not normally like this, but I know the precise cause of much of my misery and I am actively working towards a solution. My current boss is an indecisive control freak, and I am making $20,000 per year less than at my previous job. So I recently began a covert job search, and it's going well so far. I have been very picky about the ads that I answer, to make sure that my next job is better. I have had three phone interviews with recruiters, plus another one later today with an HR person who is actively trying to recruit me for a job. I also had a face-to-face interview with a CEO two weeks ago, but the next round of interviews for that job has been delayed until after next week.

I realize that a new job won't make my life perfect, but every job that I am looking at right now pays at least $15K more than I currently make. Money doesn't equal happiness, but the absence of money can definitely lead to pain. Better cash flows will certainly make me less grumpy and less fearful. With better sleep, I will also be less exhausted, even if the new job is just as demanding as the current job.

stormseeker75 wrote: I don't know if that's real or some elaborate joke site, but I'm irritable as all fuck. I'm losing my fucking mind, actually.

This is just my observation, but men age really, really poorly. They lose all their friends, stop talking to people, go to work, and disengage with tons of their interests. I don't know if it's an environmental thing or a gender thing. But look at any older woman and she's almost always a thousand times better off than an older man. On one hand, men don't live as long, but it also seems like they break down a lot faster too physically and emotionally.

Scares the shit out of me. I don't want to be my dad. He's a fucking maniac.

As is the norm on the Fort, I'm glad we can have an honest conversation about a really important topic.

LMAO....many of you view me as the AntiChrist and yet I answered earnestly and my score was...30.

Exhausted Type: Men who experience the Exhausted type are "running on empty." Their emotional batteries are depleted and they have little energy for themselves or others. They likely are having problems with sleep and wake up tired. They may get through the day, but there isn't a lot of joy in their lives. They can feel overwhelmed by what needs to be done and appear tense and irritable. If they are in relationship, intimacy suffers greatly, since they just don’t have the energy for engagement.

Emotionally I'm not tired, I'm just fucking tired. I stay up until 12 or 1 and get up at 7, every day. I always have trouble getting to sleep, unless I'm fucked up. Years of abuse does that to a brother. I have an INCREDIBLE amount of joy, though. My "intimacy" doesn't suffer a bit - I have a healthy (or rather, vivacious) sex life and my wife and I are STILL besties 20 years + later. My kids and I have a tremendous amount of love and caring for one another, and I spend a lot of time with them.

Diagnosis: Bullshit Test.

Addictive Type: Men who experience the Addictive type can easily become hooked on substances or activities that seem to relieve the pressures of life. Guys who are addictive often feel a desperate need to relieve stress. They may eat too much, drink or use drugs, withdraw into the T.V. or the computer. They can also become workaholic. At some point the diversions become locked in and become compulsions. They lose control and are "doing it more, but enjoying it less."

One guy told me that his drug of choice was "more." These guys feel so overwhelmed with stress that they try more and more of everything in an attempt to return to a life of peace and ease. Once it is recognized that Addictive-type IMS has moved into the house, things can improve. Since addiction can take on a life of its own, getting outside help can make things a lot easier to handle.

I've done shit that nobody should do to themselves, yet I was never addicted to anything but cigarettes. I should literally have been in a pine box 15 years ago or more. I eat often because I am always hungry and dehydrated, not because food is a crutch. But I don't overeat often. I am absolutely a workaholic, or rather, have those tendencies. Genetics is a bitch. I work very hard to remind myself that my life should be about spending time with my family and friends, drinking up all the joy life has to offer, rather than being so goal-driven. But it's hard. So, they got that part right. I don't use drugs at all, and I rarely drink. I fuck around on the web way too much, but that's to alleviate the boredom that comes with having a high IQ and being ultra-ADD.

Diagnosis: Mostly Bullshit Test

Grumpy Type: Men who experience the Grumpy type are easily upset and hypersensitive. It may seem that any little thing bothers them and can set them off. They often feel that others are going out of their way to irritable them. They can be moody, impatient, and angry. They may blame those closest to them for the problems they are having. I describe them as "emotionally sunburned." They feel their loved ones are deliberately slapping their sunburn. The problem is that those closest to them don't realize they are "sunburned" so inadvertently hurt them without realizing it.

If issues aren't addressed the man becomes more and more unhappy and the relationship begins to deteriorate. Once it is recognized that Grumpy-type IMS has moved into the house, things can improve. Some people can work things out themselves. Others can benefit from outside support.

I'm not easily upset, but when I do become upset, it's fucking Hiroshima time. Tunguska time. I don't tolerate self-righteous cunts who try to tell me how to live, and I don't tolerate people who are liars and thieves. Those things fuck me off and my temper is primarily directed at those kinds of people. That definitely is a problem for me as I'm sure you fine people know. I'm getting better at reminding myself that internet asswipes matter about as much as a single atom in the volume of a star, but yeah, some people who I have had long-term negative relationships with get it with both barrels (FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING, SAG). I do feel often that people go out of their way to aggravate me, and I think that's often times justified because THEY OFTEN DO. But I'm getting better at ignoring them, although sometimes I slip (read: Vasel) because hypocrites are just liars who have convinced themselves that they're not; read above about liars. I never blame people for my baggage, though, and I know it's an internal weakness I have.

Diagnosis: Mostly Bullshit

OVERALL DIAGNOSIS: ALMOST ENTIRELY BULLSHIT TEST.


What this test DOES do is indicate that if you took it, you realize that you're spinning out of control and want to change your life. Well, the first step in solving a problem is identifying it and recognizing it. So, well done, brother, you're one of us now. A little introspection, and writing a list of the things you think are POSITIVE, and then a list of things you think are NEGATIVE, and finally, looking at the lists and seeing what you are doing...that will give you a lot of insight. Then it's a year of HARD ASS WORK trying to stop and be objective about everything you do. Once you get to that point, where you automatically look at things as objectively as possible, you can then start to realize that it's not THE WORLD pissing you off, it's that the world will always pretty much disappoint you, and to accept that which you cannot control. Really, all you can do is control YOU, and your reactions to the universe at large. Always attempt to be a positive influence on the planet, and always be objective when evaluating your success toward that goal.

Good luck, brother. It's hard work not wanting to beat the shit out of people sometimes.

SuperflyTNT wrote: What this test DOES do is indicate that if you took it, you realize that you're spinning out of control and want to change your life. Well, the first step in solving a problem is identifying it and recognizing it. So, well done, brother, you're one of us now. A little introspection, and writing a list of the things you think are POSITIVE, and then a list of things you think are NEGATIVE, and finally, looking at the lists and seeing what you are doing...that will give you a lot of insight. Then it's a year of HARD ASS WORK trying to stop and be objective about everything you do. Once you get to that point, where you automatically look at things as objectively as possible, you can then start to realize that it's not THE WORLD pissing you off, it's that the world will always pretty much disappoint you, and to accept that which you cannot control. Really, all you can do is control YOU, and your reactions to the universe at large. Always attempt to be a positive influence on the planet, and always be objective when evaluating your success toward that goal.

Basically this.

I'm 41 and I'm definitely going through something odd right now. But I don't think this is it. I've been feeling like I haven't accomplished what I wanted to, like I've wasted too much time. It's pretty much just my son that is keeping me grounded right now. I'm writing and recording more than I ever have in the past and it feels like a mad scramble, like I'm trying to make up for something and I can't seem to find value in who I am without that.

But I answered those questions, no score because I'm not giving them my personal details but just looking at my answers and I think I'd be low. Anger, loneliness... that's not what's going on. It's more that I feel like I've been an ass most of my life and it's only now that I see what I should have been doing. I think I'm as pleasant to be around as I've ever been and I'm generally a better person than I've ever been in the past. But I keep starting projects.. writing a stand up routine, several short stories, songs, poems, cartoon idea's... anything just to say I'm not wasting my life away. I ruminate on death more than I ever have in the past and sometimes it looks (to me) like some kind of lame mid life crisis (is that term lost to the 80's now?). My wife tells me I have to get it out of my system before baby two arrives and I'm hoping that recording this new record will do that...

Unfortunately I kind of doubt it. But I will try. I've started meditating, I'm doing exercises (new to me in a way), I'm eating healthier, I'm trying to be more charitable... all these systems simply to feel more human. Mostly things are good, but there is some void in there and I'm just not sure how to fill it. I never even thought about this shit that much before and now it consumes me.

I'm a Gemini.

Huh, I took the test, and it told me my ideal career was Barbarian....Crom.

If you act like a big enough grump, you will see them driven before you, but it is YOUR women whose lamentations you shall hear!