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TOPIC: What POSITIVE CHANGES are you making in your life?

What POSITIVE CHANGES are you making in your life? 05 Nov 2017 01:16 #257035

Mad Dog wrote:
cranberries wrote:
SuperflyTNT wrote:
stormseeker75 wrote:
This little victory today showed me that I can absolutely get my weight back down and I don't have to suffer to do it.

Mindfullness is the real deal.
)

Cranberries, your post was one of the funniest things ever on this site. You shouldn't have deleted it.

I don't trust anything I write after waking up at 4:00 a.m. due to anxiety.

There's not a silver bullet for depression, but working on your gut microbiome might help with serotonin regulation and production. And there are lots of other benefits to keeping your gut healthy. My gut is relapsing right now due to stress and some poor eating choices, but I'm trying to get back on track.

www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0166223613000088

www.nature.com/mp/journal/v21/n6/abs/mp201646a.html
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What POSITIVE CHANGES are you making in your life? 05 Nov 2017 09:14 #257044

My SO is a Buddhist, from an uncommon Japanese group. Nichiren Daishonen, not Zen. Between that, and the book "The subtle art of not giving a fuck" by Mark Manson (which essentially seems like Buddhism for white agnostics and common sense non-consumerism), I've become a bit more grounded despite not really going to church at all in a long time. I was raised Lutheran (ELCA, not Missouri Synod) and went in and out of it. That's my Dad's side, he's ridiculously stoic and German and I basically say that he's me times 2- twice as generous and kind... and quiet. My mom is super outgoing and thoughtful (but also a neurotic over-thinker), but says some really cringeworthy stuff almost as bad as that dinner party in Get Out. (My parents are both in their 70s and grew up listening to motown and whatnot). I've just thought a lot in the last few years about what my values are, and how to just ignore people's advice if they are annoying and shallow, without being a dick to them. Since my schedule is weird and I often only get an hour a day with my son, I try to be as calm and peaceful as possible, and learn how to read him and figure out what's getting him upset. I also try to drop truth bombs in aphorisms, like, "If you want a dog, you have to clean up its poop." Emphasizing hard work, independence, perseverance, being helpful, etc. He's 7 and an only child right now, but by the time we have more I'd like him to be able to walk the the dog, load the dishwasher, make grilled or mac n cheese, etc. This weekend I taught him how to change the batteries in his R/C car so hopefully all I'll have to do eventually is tell him where the batteries are if he forgets.

I feel like kids could be a whole other topic. Maybe put it in bitchfest or create a new subform to avoid non-members seeing it.
Gary Sax wrote:
cranberries wrote:
I think our brain chemistry must change when we get older.

I don't know if it's physiological or environmental, but I pretty much agree with this. I feel like most people I know go deeper down whatever path of mental/emotional trouble they started lightly on in their teens and 20s.

After I saw Fight Club for the first time in high school, I woke up in the middle of the night and thought, "once I take a bath, everything will be set in motion." And I did it. Not sure if whatever dream I was having had to do with being part of project mayhem or what, but 5 minutes into the bath, my next thought was, "Holy shit, is this what I'm gonna be like when I'm 80?"

In general, I need to exercise more. I think i was doing better when I was lifting and doing Judo, at least physically and energy wise. I also slept a lot more then, and I was younger... so who knows.

Edit: this is a group of those aphorisms that I posted to FB.

Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]
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What POSITIVE CHANGES are you making in your life? 05 Nov 2017 10:27 #257056

boothwah wrote:
/On CC's point - before going through this, I think I would have been as tone deaf as anyone, in regards to depression and mental health - "Have you tried focusing on all the blessings in your life." "Just focus on the positive." "You should avoid situations that make you stressed then." "Maybe you need another line of work."
//Can you imagine if we talked about physical aliments that way? "Have you tried focusing on the good leg that isn't broken?" "Have you tried just walking it off while focusing on the parts that don't hurt?"
///For good goshin' sakes, if you have someone that says they are struggling with depression or feelings of hopelessness don't tell them to look at the positive, count their blessings, or chin up. That something you say to make yourself feel better about not really wanting to get into it with them. Truth be told, they have probably been sitting at the bottom of a dark hole, staring at all the light coming in, but that doesn't help them get out of the hole.

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What POSITIVE CHANGES are you making in your life? 05 Nov 2017 11:15 #257068

I don’t struggle with mental health issues, I accept them and embrace them. SOOOPERFLY TEE EN TEE BITCHES!

Actually, the desire to choke a fucker to death daily has gone away. Mostly because I’ve become a massive proponent of apathy. I simply accept that there’s a lot of truly stupid, and I mean stupid to the cellular level, people on the planet. No amount of education or coaching can fix that.

The only thing that fucks me off now, and I mean truly fucks me off to the point of veins in my neck popping out, are bigots and when my wife does something deeply irritating or ridiculously stupid. And I’m then only mad at myself for not seeing 23 years ago that she would not be the person I could have many deep meaningful conversations on various subjects with because she lacks the capacity to do so and hasn’t got an ounce of forgiveness or compassion for her fellow man in her.

You really do follow in your parents’ footsteps.
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youtube.com/watch?v=ZkHxIlNZTk4
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What POSITIVE CHANGES are you making in your life? 05 Nov 2017 12:31 #257075

My recent positive change was deciding that $100+ for board games isn't okay as the new normal. No more ultra-exclusive limited edition KS's or FFG hundred expansion games for me. I paid like $25 for Tigris & Euphrates and its one of the best games in my collection ever made and has limitless replay value. Technically I own so many games that I never need to buy another one anyways. I've rarely played any game I own to the point of being sick of it because I'll just take a break from it for a while and cycle something else in.
Like all good changes this had a domino effect that forced me to examine why I was continuing to buy more games that I didn't need. When I got into board gaming back around 2000/2001 it was more about socializing with friends and making new ones. At least 90% of my friends I have I met through playing CCG/RPG/BG's and they are all great people to know. But as my various game groups spread out in life over the years I'd see them less and less. I'd also gotten jaded about going to random game nights anymore because I was meeting mainly hardcore gamers (particularly cult of the new and euro-snobs) where I used to meet a lot more casual gamers or people just looking to socialize. So I would interact with people online for the past decade more than I would with many of my local friends. This led to me spending more time reading about games online and talking about them online than I would spend playing them offline. Which somehow led to me trying to fill a growing hole in my life with more games that I'd only play a few times to keep up with the online part of the hobby when I should have been filling it with more local friends even if they didn't play games. You can't change to a new path until you realize the one you've been on isn't going anywhere anymore.
Not sure if this even makes sense to anyone else. Honestly not sure that I care if it doesn't or more likely makes me look like an idiot. I'm not after some kind of validation. I'm someone who fixes their personal problems on the rare circumstance I actually notice one. That's good enough for me.
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What POSITIVE CHANGES are you making in your life? 05 Nov 2017 13:56 #257080

It makes perfect sense. This is my opinion, but I think a lot of modern postindustrial life as you get older is losing friends and trying to figure out what to replace it with. Which is completely futile and stupid, but it's tough to make friends as you get older in the US and take on more responsibility, etc at work.
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What POSITIVE CHANGES are you making in your life? 05 Nov 2017 18:59 #257088

makes a lot of sense. I've just started painting minis the last few days and have realized that so many times I have gone out and bought games for time which doesn't exist, i.e regular free time with a bunch of nice people who have the time to play stuff. At least with painting minis I'm getting out of something from the time spent late at night on my own wishing I could be playing a bit more, especially as I'm now seeing the chance to bring a bit of life to some games that are just starting to become more interesting for the kids. It's basically time i ditched the gaming group of friends (which don't exist IRL) and focus on the upcoming group I've homegrown and will hopefully be interested in playing with their old man (and it's totally OK if they don't, I'm not going to push my hobby onto them, so another plus point for just enjoying the solo creative pastime of painting minis. Which I'd not put it off so long)
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What POSITIVE CHANGES are you making in your life? 06 Nov 2017 11:00 #257111

I have been trying to floss more often, but I can't seem to do it more than twice a week. The last time I saw my dentist, he gave me a free demo and sample of another device that could help out with the flossing. It is basically a small pipe cleaner with a plastic handle and a plastic cover for the pipe brush end. It's great for cleaning out gaps at the base of my teeth where the gumline has receded in recent years. I have also gotten more serious in recent months about using ACT dental rinse, which is like a mouthwash that also helps restore calcium to the teeth.

Despite all that, I broke a tooth last night while eating a cookie. It was a molar that got an excessively large filling many years ago, and so the tooth only broke off on the outside side, leaving a gnarly-looking metal filling and some tooth left on the inside side. There is no pain, but some temperature sensitivity conducting through the exposed metal of the filling. I already had a six-month cleaning scheduled for next week, so I will call the dentist today and see if I can get a longer appointment.
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What POSITIVE CHANGES are you making in your life? 06 Nov 2017 12:18 #257116

hard cookies serve absolutely no purpose whatsoever in life.

#Barneylikesitsoft
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"We must let go of the life we had planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us." - Joseph Campbell
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What POSITIVE CHANGES are you making in your life? 06 Nov 2017 14:07 #257124

Black Barney wrote:
hard cookies serve absolutely no purpose whatsoever in life.

#Barneylikesitsoft

Oh, those awful biscuit things the brits try to pass as cookies. Hard tack with sugar.

My mom used to make those Nestle Toll House bar cookies. Now they call them blondies. That is what a cookie should be.

/My wife and I got into our first argument when I asked her if we (meaning she) could make peanut butter cookies. She said she didn't know how. I thought she was putting me off and just didn't want to.
//I thereby cursed the marriage, and every cookie she makes except for a specialty xmas cookie comes out thin, crispy, or inedible. She is a wonderful cook. She just can't do cookies.
///Daughters are bakers. Praise be!
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What POSITIVE CHANGES are you making in your life? 06 Nov 2017 14:55 #257126

Black Barney wrote:
hard cookies serve absolutely no purpose whatsoever in life.

#Barneylikesitsoft

My cookie was store-bought, not fresh out of the oven, but of only normal hardness. As I think back on it, the damage might have happened a week ago, when I bit into a bit of hard sediment on the carrot that I didn't bother to peel while packing my lunch. I remember now that I was surprised that I didn't lose a tooth when I heard that sound. The same sound that I heard yesterday when my tooth finally broke.
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What POSITIVE CHANGES are you making in your life? 06 Nov 2017 14:59 #257127

www.latimes.com/science/sciencenow/la-sc...0802-snap-story.html

Flossing very overrated. Definitely no need to do it multiple times a day or anything like that.
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What POSITIVE CHANGES are you making in your life? 06 Nov 2017 15:49 #257130

Gary Sax wrote:
www.latimes.com/science/sciencenow/la-sc...0802-snap-story.html

Flossing very overrated. Definitely no need to do it multiple times a day or anything like that.

I think it depends on the structure of your teeth and body chemistry (some people just have a more acidic pH, I think). To be anecdotal, my dentist always seemed to find cavities during my visits, or at least once a year, until I started flossing once a day. I was a regular brusher, occasional flosser, and decided to just pick up the habit & see. I haven't had any problems since then, going on 20 years now.
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What POSITIVE CHANGES are you making in your life? 06 Nov 2017 16:13 #257136

I busted a tooth on a brownie that didn't have nuts in it. Busted as in it sheared clean off of its roots. The tooth had had a root canal a few years prior, and that can/will weaken a tooth, and it decayed from the inside out. There wasn't enough left to repair it, so they pulled it. Getting old sucks, but I guess it beats the alternative.
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What POSITIVE CHANGES are you making in your life? 06 Nov 2017 16:33 #257144

I had to give up popcorn. Lost two teeth to that shit. I realise the teeth were obviously in trouble beforehand but I didn't need to completely disintegrate them. They could have been fixed.
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