What is the Worst Kung Fu Movie That You've Seen?

ThirstyMan wrote: Wait. Japan and China are different?

Are they a bit like USA and Canada then?

No, they're like USA and Alaska.

The Brucesploitation movies are hard to beat for sheer awfulness, combined with a money grab while the body was still warm. One that sticks out is "Exit the Dragon .. Enter the Tiger!"

A pseudo-documentary about the guy who was allegedly Lee's best friend and went to avenge his murder. He was named Bruce "Tiger" Lei. And he and Lee were apparently real close friends and addressed each other as "dragon" and "tiger" all the time. The scene where Lei learns of Lee's death is a true classic of cinematic emoting.

Tiger's film career never took off for some reason.

The Japanese eat shorter grain rice and enjoy tea that tastes like a not unpleasant flowery seaweed. The Chinese eat longer grain rice and drink noticeably better tea. Koreans eat rice with a spoon, often served crispy and stuck to the side of a stone pot. Their tea is shit. If in doubt as to what nationality someone is from, prepare them a meal of tea and rice and observe if they kick you in the throat or (presumably) thank you in gibberish.

Japanese drink Sake. I do love Sake. They also have Whiskey

The Chinese drink rice wine and Baijui, which is fairly foul (rice win is sort of like a less good dry sherry, and Baijui is like vodka with a weird aftertaste)

Koreans drink Soujui with is basically 20% vol Vodka and this rather fizzy wierd rice win that brings forth a splitting head ache

Kung Pow. Easily the worst kung fu film I've seen but at least it was intentional.

Why all the bagging on Forbidden Kingdom? Haters gotta hate I reckon.

Best drink to come out of Asia is Mekhong.

China and Japan aren't like The US and Alaska, China and Japan are like Iran and Iraq, after the First Persian Gulf War (not Desert Storm, the real FPGW). Hatred, seething, long-lasting hatred.

Worst Kung Fu movie ever...Ninja-The Final Duel. Ninja Water Spiders. Seriously. The only saving grace is that this little naked ninja chick did the splits and her vaginal labia blew a kiss to the viewers. I almost shit myself laughing.

...best Samoko post ever?

Man, Japanese tea is THE WORST. It smells foul enough to make me retch. I hope this doesn't make me racialist but I have never noticed a difference between the rice of these nations.

Green Lantern is nuts to even begin to remotely enjoy Forbidden Kingdom. The movie poster is the entry under Oxford's 'mediocrity.'

SuperflyTNT wrote: China and Japan aren't like The US and Alaska, China and Japan are like Iran and Iraq, after the First Persian Gulf War (not Desert Storm, the real FPGW). Hatred, seething, long-lasting hatred.

This is crazy talk. China hates the Chinese people far more than Japan does.

Black Barney wrote: Green Lantern is nuts to even begin to remotely enjoy Forbidden Kingdom. The movie poster is the entry under Oxford's 'mediocrity.'

I'm not going to argue that Forbidden Kingdom is movie gold or anything and agree that it's mediocre. You guys made it out to be complete garbage and I don't feel that way about it. I certainly enjoyed it more than a bunch of recent flicks I've seen, including Paul, Blade Runner, and Total Recall.

SaMoKo wrote:

SuperflyTNT wrote: China and Japan aren't like The US and Alaska, China and Japan are like Iran and Iraq, after the First Persian Gulf War (not Desert Storm, the real FPGW). Hatred, seething, long-lasting hatred.

This is crazy talk. China hates the Chinese people far more than Japan does.

Funny how they figured out they can just put all the best jobs in a city, make the city one of the most vile, smoke-filled places on Earth, and just wait for the asthma, heart disease and other fatal maladies take them all out. Best part? There's 10 people waiting in line to stand over the body and take the job.

BRILLIANT!