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Bugs: Recent Topics Paging, Uploading Images & Preview (11 Dec 2020)

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× A place to talk about stuff that doesn't belong anywhere else.

What Barnes Doesn't Know

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04 Dec 2014 13:01 #191917 by OldHippy
I'm bored, MB has helped me with a lot over the years. With cardboard games and movies and even black metal... but we were discussing what, exactly, does he NOT know... so in an effort to expand our horizons I've penned this little ditty... I imagine four chords would be enough. C, F, G and Am...


Well Barnes knows films and Barnes know games
Barnes knows comic books and Barnes knows pain
Barnes knows decor, fashion and words
Barnes knows everything about his world

But oh oh oh let's try to take it slow
and take a little look at what he don't know
and oh oh oh, if Barnes wants to grow
We need to make a list of what Barnes doesn't know.

Barnes don't know physics and he don't know blues
He don't know Jazz he hasn't paid his dues
Barnes don't know sport and he doesn't know me
But Barnes can carve a meeple from old oak tree

Barnes don't know truth but then none of us do
Barnes don't know cars but he writes a great review
Barnes don't know war and he don't know space
But I'd bet he'll kick your ass in a cardboard race

Well oh oh oh all that Barnes doesn't know
Start right here we'll fill the Hollywood bowl




No offense buddy
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04 Dec 2014 14:04 #191924 by The*Mad*Gamer
Love it! May I have permission to record this song?
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04 Dec 2014 14:16 #191927 by OldHippy

The Lone Voice wrote: Love it! May I have permission to record this song?


Of course. You can add words too (actually the whole community can) if you like. I wouldn't mind laying a solo down on it if you do record it... you like Mandolin... or Banjo?
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04 Dec 2014 14:34 #191929 by The*Mad*Gamer
Mandolin, Barnes is more Bard Like...
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04 Dec 2014 16:15 #191939 by Michael Barnes
Come on, there's plenty I don't know. I'll tell you straight up that I'm dead in the water if it's ANYTHING about math. Sports,I'm pretty bad at although I have a good sense of sports as a historical/cultural element. But I can't tell you Rollie Fingers' RBI or anything like that. I'm TERRIBLE with current television shows that aren't genre related. Is Dharma and Greg still on?

I know plenty about jazz and blues, I just don't care to listen to either. But there again, it's like sports...my knowledge is mostly historical/cultural. I can talk to you about Coltrane, Sun Ra, Muddy Waters, Howlin' Wolf etc. but I couldn't tell you anything about modern practicioners of the form.

I have an OK knowledge of cars including repair. But I am TERRIBLE at building things and home repair. Shit just blows my mind. I can barely patch a hole in the wall. Useless!
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04 Dec 2014 16:26 #191942 by Black Barney

Michael Barnes wrote: Is Dharma and Greg still on?


Dharma is a big time scientologist now (i used to have such a mad crush on her too :(

Greg is on what is possibly the most violent show on primetime (other than the news). Routinely working on cases that show massive torture and violence against women, kids getting killed and such.

As much as I hated Dharma & Greg, I think both have deevolved.


...i still think Greg is good as Aaron Hotchner and I can rewatch EdTV anytime I want to crush out on Jenna Elfman again

I love that I know her real name but I have no idea what Greg's name is in real life, lol

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04 Dec 2014 17:22 #191950 by OldHippy
Barnes don't know much about current TV
Barnes don't know much about trigonometry
Barnes don't know how to fix your sink
But he can write a games article that'll make you think

Barnes can't tell you Rollie fingers RBI
Barnes can walk but he sure can't fly
Barnes oh Barnes oh where will you go
To learn about all the things that you don't know


Black Barney had mad crush on Dharma and Greg
I know he won't admit it but he swings both ways
Black Barney will play both the chicken or the hen
Let's all just make sure that we don't tell Ken


I'm telling you guys, this is so easy and more fun that real posting. At least for me today. If we work together we can do a whole concept album about F:AT....

think of the spotify money we could pull in!!
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04 Dec 2014 17:34 #191952 by ThirstyMan
Don't know much about Heisenberg
Physicist or Prime Time nerd
Gödel seems to Barnes totally cold
but Howling Wolf well he never gets old

ad infinitum
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04 Dec 2014 17:46 #191953 by OldHippy

ThirstyMan wrote:
ad infinitum


If that's a math joke about adding up infinities Barnes will never get it. Maybe you need to make a Georg Cantor reference to top it all off?
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04 Dec 2014 19:25 #191957 by Michael Barnes
Do what now?

I want someone to do a song about Black Barney in the style of "Stagger Lee".
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05 Dec 2014 09:42 #191993 by The*Mad*Gamer
Jon,

Song available here:




Production Notes:

Insert mandolin in 4 bar intro (Key of C)
Send audio file to me for insertion into master file
Main vocal mixed through Cracked speaker in reference to Cracked LCD
Review at end tried to capture the comedic eloquence of Barnes in BGG days
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05 Dec 2014 10:00 #191994 by Michael Barnes
I just don't even know what to say...other than I really missed Steve Weeks!
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05 Dec 2014 10:00 - 05 Dec 2014 10:01 #191995 by OldHippy
Awesome! I'm at work right now just laughing my ass off... I have tears in my eyes..

Great job Steve. I'm gonna try to add a solo on Saturday.
Last edit: 05 Dec 2014 10:01 by OldHippy.
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05 Dec 2014 13:19 #192007 by engineer Al
Well, that was just a big slice of awesome pie. Thanks!
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