Own up, ungrateful b*tches!!! Satan's been to town

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooookkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk...the girls' shoes...that is fucking weird. For some reason I find that really disturbing.

What is it with Satan and VHS tapes, it seems like every year there's a few of them floating around.

Black Morn Manor is pretty fun, actually. I think there are some things about it better than Betrayal, actually. I used to play on Bobby Martin's 3D set that he made. We had some fun games with that...the vampire getting all the stakes and throwing them over the fence, things like that.

Ha ha, "build the board as you play!" HOLY SHIT IT'S THE FUTURE

Enjoy the four player limit with Cosmic!!! AHAHHAHAHAHAHH!~!!! CACKLE CACKLE CACKLE!!!!
And you MUST put your ships into the bigger mothership when you commit them to planets! Ignore that command and my minions will burst forth and...Well...they truly lack power in the real world, my boardgame minions, they're more clerical minions...But YOU MUST!@!!!

Michael Barnes wrote: Yeah, that is some BULL SHIT right there! Something has got to be wrong with those copies, that is far too nice a gift from Satan...unless there is something we don't know about Brewmeister and Satan...

I considered keeping all the specialized dice, but that would have been far too evil, even for me.

I'm home all day most weeks, so I was waiting for my package to arrive right up until we flew to Michigan on Christmas day. Still nothing when I left, so I'll probably have to wait to post my stuff until the New Year (I hope).

Where are you in Michigan, Nate?

Chill was my first RPG. Never got to try the boardgame.

stormseeker75 wrote: Where are you in Michigan, Nate?

My parents live in Saginaw. Unfortunately we're leaving tomorrow.

You suck. That's not very far from me at all.

Well, I had a holly jolly Christmas. Then when I returned to the office on Monday, there was a package waiting for me from Old Scratch himself, Satan!

No whiff of sulfur, no heat or tingling sensation in my fingers when I picked it up. Heavy as shit, though.


At the top, some...Cosmic Encounter expansion cardboard. Missing one piece. Eh, that's fine. I can go in back to the Customer Service folks and ask for that one token. If I didn't already have the whole thing myself. So Satan's a time and resource waster. That's cool.



Next up, a shit-ton of Wal-Mart bags. If there was any doubt before, this package truly came from the pits of Hell. Back to those later.



Aw, well, that's nice. A couple of real games? Nostra City and 1955: The War of Espionage. I'm a big Bond fan, so even if the games might not be all that enjoyable (Average BGG rankings, 6.4 and 6.31 respectively), I'm sure I'll get a kick out of 1955.


As for the bags, I deleted the photo accidentally, but what's in each of those bags? A piece of Carabande track. "Okay, cool," I'm thinking, "we have that massive Pitchcar game that me and some folks from work play about quarterly! More track!"

Were it so.

Satan gifted me with expansion track for a game I love, only due to whatever issues remain between the Germans and the French, the tracks are not compatible.

Pas compatible.

Nicht kompatibel.

Thanks, you prick. I'm sure I'll have considerably less fun than I had hoped.

I'll try and be an even bigger asshole next year. Merry happy.

Is anyone else still waiting for a package? Because I am.

The postman Satan has left a calling card. Will go pick up tomorrow hopefully.

Whats this? A parcel, all the way from the USA. Wait? My Satanic cat likes it? Evil must lie within, begone foul demons!



Some preparation is required, a 10 foot pole, a bucket of water, a canister or petrol on standby, and a mallet just in case its not entirely dead yet.



Also I need some protection, Satan must not be taken lightly. Particularly since he paid $66 to post it.



Nothing good can come from Cleveland



A Talisman expansion!?



O' cruel fate! Tis not talisman the dragon



Whats this note...

Cheerio! Fancy a Fag? Wot?

-some teeth joke-
-something about your dreadful cuisine-

Some americana is enclosed to bind you inexorably to the rampant soullessness of those people!

Try to learn baseball from this simulator, or perhaps this book about Englands dickishness is your fancy.

Ahhh, Satan is a colonist.

The 'gifts'



some light reading on a little tiff we had in days gone by.



A game about an inferior cricket imitation.



How is Perry Rhodan and why does he have a cosmos 2 player game?



Zombie in my pocket, in an Ipad case. Ahh this is an allegory about the nature of consumerism.



VPGs States of Siege, Israel independance. Satans current political views are present i see.



There are a ton of these plastic punch out cards for making little ship standees for some sort of game.



A cool comic on fighting



And then a ton of random crap. Satan saw fit to post a battery (for the baseball game) across the atlantic, loads of random counters and some little plastic spaceships.


Thanks Satan

Inspected! Always a good sign, means most of the raw hell was released after His Weathered Seal was broken. Sad for that inspector, though, but I guess being drained by a succubus has its upsides.


A game I have never heard of, RUTHENIA, but Satan knows all, and has provided me Jewish protagonists! It features the Khazars as a playable side! Note also the suffused hell packing material, which I am pretty sure is half-asbestos, half typhus. My kids have black lung now.


These notes from Old Scratch are the best. This person gets it--Secret Satan is not about coming out ahead or breaking even, it is about having a good time and working that theme. He's even trying to cloud the historical record! That tower at Bavel was a testament to our vanity you silly angel.


O frabjous day! CAR WARS! Again, the note kills it. Plus an expansion--this game looks insane. Ain't nobody got time for this, Devil! ps: I am singing "Baby, It's Cold Outside" (a la Johnny Mercer).


Ooh, thy sting! A copy of AYE, DARK OVERLORD! I pray to Jesus, Buddha, that Sky Coyote thing, all the gods that I don't ever have to play a story-telling game where I get points based on some subjective bullshit metric. Issues! Childhood issues! Thank you Dark Lord for reminding me of failures decades old.
[img][img]https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B6mpRG-CAAASqiG.jpg[/img]

My son, the untainted one, the youngest, was present during the unveiling. I thought his innocence would protect me from Satan's alluring embrace--instead, it seems I have turned him over to The Morning Star. He no longer eats his veggies and has been requesting to watch CAILLOU.


Hail Satan!

433, you should know that you could always try and chase down the expansion to Carabande. That said, even I, in all my infernal powers, was not able to track that one down.

Car Wars has shown up twice this year. Hail Satan!

(I had that arena, I'm pretty sure it was the one with the jumps in the center...)

The Mattel Baseball posted to the UK is a touch of demented genius.