Secret Satan 2015 Results! Post them here!

I need to follow up on this- who all did NOT receive anything?

There is ALWAYS the possibility of Comp-U-Tron error...but it is not likely. Just want to see if someone is holding out.

Space Ghost wrote: I have yet to receive anything.

Well, Jeremy Stomberg of FFG, you probably thought your lack of participation - if it was even allowed by your corporate overlords - went unnoticed.



Here is what Jeremy received this year. This is what he saw when he opened the box, minus a note on top that was mildly clever but not worth the effort to include. The girl is my littlest imp who did not know the significance of which finger was hurt when she was showing me her owie finger. It was mostly Warhammer templates and 80's heavy metal trading cards on top.



Then there was an old Masters of the Universe toy poster that I lovingly printed at Tabloid size on Satan's very own office color laser printer:



The package on the left contained burned DVD copies of the Star Wars Despecialized Editions but I didn't take an unwrapped pic. That's a wrapped/unwrapped pic of the new-in-box pizza phone on the right. Yes, it's a plastic phone that looks like a slice of pizza.



Then there were some vintage comics:



Here's the last of the "fun" nonsense in the box. First an wrapped/unwrapped pic of one of Satan's very favorite films. Then an old Warhammer Juggernaut of Khorne, some Bean Boozled Jelly Bellies and a Giant Hooters deck of novelty playing cards complete with owl sticker to keep Jeremy from getting fired.



Here's the first game in the box. It has custom dice and his complete and that's really all I can think to say about it.



Then there was the "good" game:



And the cherry on top of this crap sundae was what was in the Screaming Eagles box:



So Merry Christmas, you fuckin' ingrate!

To everyone else, what's the final count on who got stiffed? Are reprimands and public shaming in order? LET'S WRAP IT UP.

That Masters of the Universe poster is pretty rad.

That's a great package to receive! I would totally take lots of pictures if it were my package! Mmmm ... package pictures ...

I think what happened is that he was KO'd by this package and has yet to be revived. That is a mighty fine assortment of trash/treasure!

That is an amazing package.

I had that Welcome Back Kotter issue as a kid! And the Return of the New Gods one as well!

Dude, Screaming Eagles takes me right back to being a kid. If that jerk doesn't want it, he can send it my way.

Michael Barnes wrote: I think what happened is that he was KO'd by this package and has yet to be revived. That is a mighty fine assortment of trash/treasure!

Maybe the KO is what prevented him from sending me my package*







*pure speculation -- I have no idea who my SS is/was

Seriously....this is fucked up. You didn't get a package that you were owed?

BARNES: It's time to sack up and start creating a public list of people that have been guilty of fucking people over at Christmas time. That's like violating a guy's sister in the sphinky-winky and wiping his junk on their mom's curtains. Totally unacceptable.

Jeez, I said I'd pay to have them washed. Get over it.

I really dig Secret Satan. It's a lot of fun. The only reason I didn't participate this year is because I didn't have the makings of a good package handy. But I'm beginning to feel like I dodged a bullet. Not in the Secret Satan way, but in the not-worth-the-effort way. Last year there were a few stragglers that should have been a warning sign. This year seems worse. Maybe it's lack of perspective. Either way I agree with Pete. It might be time for a going public / blacklist for offenders, because the best part is seeing what came in the mail, for better or for worse. Even the worst Secret Satan packages are better than nothing. The toxic waste peanut butter package was a point of contention to see how far Secret Satan could be pushed. I thought that box was great. Other people didn't. That's fine. That's interesting. If we're going to PC the event and forgive non-arrivals then what's the point.

Let's bring back the fun and the edgy, and point and ridicule those who can't get on board. It's opt-in anyway; does anyone really not know what they're signing up for?

Exactly. This isn't the service where people got VOLUNTOLD to join in. They willingly chose to participate.

I know life gets in the way of things. Totally legitimate. But at least have the balls to get on the forum, say "dude, I got a Secret Satan, and my car burst into flame, killing my dog, and burning up the package. Here's a scan of the police report, because it's unbelievable." Have some God-damned common motherfucking courtesy. Admitting you fucked up, even if you lack the desire or means to make it right, is the equivalent of the bean-flicking reacharound, in terms of my previous analogy.

And yes, Mark, you said you'd pay to get them cleaned, but some stains are upon the soul.

I finally had some time to click three or four times and figure out who the scoundrels are. Both are regular, frequently visiting and participating members. I will not name them here, but I have informed the stiffed as to who they are. One was not actually a stiff, it was just a REALLY, REALLY lame and very half-assed showing. Like, "oh crap, it's two months late, I better just pick a random cheap game on Amazon and send it". After all the effort and care some folks put into, this is pitiful.

Anyway, if you are one of these folks, be aware that your targets know who you are. Make good on this, even though it's way late. If you can't, just say and that's fine.