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A place to talk about stuff that doesn't belong anywhere else.
Do we still hate Comic Sans here?
06 Jan 2016 23:16 #219218
by ZMan
Do we still hate Comic Sans here? was created by ZMan
Is the hate for Comic Sans still strong here? I found this and thought it was hysterical. I have no idea if this was posted here before and if it was, apologies. Also, apologies if Comic Sans is not being beaten up anymore and I am dredging a dead subject up to the light.
I’m Comic Sans, Asshole.
BY MIKE LACHER
- - - -
[Originally published June 15, 2010.]
- - -
Listen up. I know the shit you’ve been saying behind my back. You think I’m stupid. You think I’m immature. You think I’m a malformed, pathetic excuse for a font. Well think again, nerdhole, because I’m Comic Sans, and I’m the best thing to happen to typography since Johannes fucking Gutenberg.
You don’t like that your coworker used me on that note about stealing her yogurt from the break room fridge? You don’t like that I’m all over your sister-in-law’s blog? You don’t like that I’m on the sign for that new Thai place? You think I’m pedestrian and tacky? Guess the fuck what, Picasso. We don’t all have seventy-three weights of stick-up-my-ass Helvetica sitting on our seventeen-inch MacBook Pros. Sorry the entire world can’t all be done in stark Eurotrash Swiss type. Sorry some people like to have fun. Sorry I’m standing in the way of your minimalist Bauhaus-esque fascist snoozefest. Maybe sometime you should take off your black turtleneck, stop compulsively adjusting your Tumblr theme, and lighten the fuck up for once.
People love me. Why? Because I’m fun. I’m the life of the party. I bring levity to any situation. Need to soften the blow of a harsh message about restroom etiquette? SLAM. There I am. Need to spice up the directions to your graduation party? WHAM. There again. Need to convey your fun-loving, approachable nature on your business’ website? SMACK. Like daffodils in motherfucking spring.
When people need to kick back, have fun, and party, I will be there, unlike your pathetic fonts. While Gotham is at the science fair, I’m banging the prom queen behind the woodshop. While Avenir is practicing the clarinet, I’m shredding “Reign In Blood” on my double-necked Stratocaster. While Univers is refilling his allergy prescriptions, I’m racing my tricked-out, nitrous-laden Honda Civic against Tokyo gangsters who’ll kill me if I don’t cross the finish line first. I am a sans serif Superman and my only kryptonite is pretentious buzzkills like you.
It doesn’t even matter what you think. You know why, jagoff? Cause I’m famous. I am on every major operating system since Microsoft fucking Bob. I’m in your signs. I’m in your browsers. I’m in your instant messengers. I’m not just a font. I am a force of motherfucking nature and I will not rest until every uptight armchair typographer cock-hat like you is surrounded by my lovable, comic-book inspired, sans-serif badassery.
Enough of this bullshit. I’m gonna go get hammered with Papyrus.
I’m Comic Sans, Asshole.
BY MIKE LACHER
- - - -
[Originally published June 15, 2010.]
- - -
Listen up. I know the shit you’ve been saying behind my back. You think I’m stupid. You think I’m immature. You think I’m a malformed, pathetic excuse for a font. Well think again, nerdhole, because I’m Comic Sans, and I’m the best thing to happen to typography since Johannes fucking Gutenberg.
You don’t like that your coworker used me on that note about stealing her yogurt from the break room fridge? You don’t like that I’m all over your sister-in-law’s blog? You don’t like that I’m on the sign for that new Thai place? You think I’m pedestrian and tacky? Guess the fuck what, Picasso. We don’t all have seventy-three weights of stick-up-my-ass Helvetica sitting on our seventeen-inch MacBook Pros. Sorry the entire world can’t all be done in stark Eurotrash Swiss type. Sorry some people like to have fun. Sorry I’m standing in the way of your minimalist Bauhaus-esque fascist snoozefest. Maybe sometime you should take off your black turtleneck, stop compulsively adjusting your Tumblr theme, and lighten the fuck up for once.
People love me. Why? Because I’m fun. I’m the life of the party. I bring levity to any situation. Need to soften the blow of a harsh message about restroom etiquette? SLAM. There I am. Need to spice up the directions to your graduation party? WHAM. There again. Need to convey your fun-loving, approachable nature on your business’ website? SMACK. Like daffodils in motherfucking spring.
When people need to kick back, have fun, and party, I will be there, unlike your pathetic fonts. While Gotham is at the science fair, I’m banging the prom queen behind the woodshop. While Avenir is practicing the clarinet, I’m shredding “Reign In Blood” on my double-necked Stratocaster. While Univers is refilling his allergy prescriptions, I’m racing my tricked-out, nitrous-laden Honda Civic against Tokyo gangsters who’ll kill me if I don’t cross the finish line first. I am a sans serif Superman and my only kryptonite is pretentious buzzkills like you.
It doesn’t even matter what you think. You know why, jagoff? Cause I’m famous. I am on every major operating system since Microsoft fucking Bob. I’m in your signs. I’m in your browsers. I’m in your instant messengers. I’m not just a font. I am a force of motherfucking nature and I will not rest until every uptight armchair typographer cock-hat like you is surrounded by my lovable, comic-book inspired, sans-serif badassery.
Enough of this bullshit. I’m gonna go get hammered with Papyrus.
The following user(s) said Thank You: Shellhead, scissors, bfkiller, ChristopherMD, boothwah, repoman, sornars, the_jake_1973, charlest
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07 Jan 2016 02:30 #219219
by scissors
Replied by scissors on topic Do we still hate Comic Sans here?
That was great
I don't think it was ever posted here before.
I don't think it was ever posted here before.
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07 Jan 2016 06:44 #219221
by Josh Look
Replied by Josh Look on topic Do we still hate Comic Sans here?
I don't think the true horror of Comics Sans was realized until somebody changed its color to anything other than black.
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07 Jan 2016 12:03 #219259
by jeb
Replied by jeb on topic Do we still hate Comic Sans here?
Still hate Comic Sans.
Love McSweeny's though. Check out "It's decorative gourd season, motherfucker."
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/its-decorati...season-motherfuckers
Love McSweeny's though. Check out "It's decorative gourd season, motherfucker."
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/its-decorati...season-motherfuckers
The following user(s) said Thank You: wadenels
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07 Jan 2016 12:27 #219265
by Michael Barnes
Replied by Michael Barnes on topic Do we still hate Comic Sans here?
If you are still, at this point, confused as to why Comic Sans is the worst font...imagine the words "Rape Crisis Center" written in it.
I have seen it IRL.
I have seen it IRL.
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07 Jan 2016 17:06 #219304
by Ochobee
Replied by Ochobee on topic Do we still hate Comic Sans here?
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