13 Assassins - Tow Jockey Five Second Review

I keep trying to watch this, but like a lot of Samurai pictures it's really pretty plodding at the beginning. I'm sure it gets more interesting, but all of the Feudal goings-on never really interest me all that much.

It's beautifully photographed though...it DOES NOT look like a Miike movie at all, which is strange. He usually does these insane, weird things and then he's all of the sudden "oh, I'll do this high-minded arthouse picture".

Coming soon- his Phoenix Wright live-action movie.

I've been waiting for any kind of release of the Director's Cut/Japanese version of the movie.

You are right Mike, the first 20 min or so is a bit slow but it's necessary set up. After that, it starts picking up speed and the last hour is just a thrill ride of awesome ass kicking. Get a cup of coffee to get through the introductions and the mission assignment, you won't regret it.

I'm unfamiliar with other movies this guy has done but I REALLY liked the way it looked. In contrast to movies like Crouching Tiger or House of Flying Daggers which look like beautiful paintings come to life, this movie feels much more real. Smoke in your eyes, grit under your nails, blood in your mouth.

I also think it was cool how the lighting is mostly in a twilight. To reflect the sun setting on the age of the Samurai perhaps?

Dragon, I don't know if there is a difference in the versions. The netflix stream is subtitled not overdubbed which would be unusual for a version meant only for American audiences but not unheard of. But I have not researched it. I don't know what would be different as I didn't feel that any of the themes or characters got short shrift.

Mike,

Once the action sequences start, it totally looks like a "Miike" film. In some ways, it totally devolves into a trashy-looking exploitative action film; the special effects are really cheap for the most part, and the extreme realism witnessed in some of the sparring scenes with wooden swords goes out the window. Not that I found that to be a bad thing at all! But given the serious, somber, slow and highly well produced first half of the film, the change in tone is jarring.

It's exactly that formal disconnect that makes it such a quintessential Miike film, to my mind. It sort of reminded me a little of what he did in the first Dead or Alive film, which was sort of a formalist exercise in start juxtapositions of tone and genre.

Well I can't speak about quintessential Miike films because this is the only movie by him I have seen but I would say a couple things.

The special effects may be considered "really cheap" but only in comparison to American movies with outrageous budgets. A good story trumps special effects each and every time.

The change in tone coincides with the Samurai fulfilling their purpose. The slow beginning reflects their lifeless existence under the suffocating blanket of the peace time shogunate. Then, when they are allowed to be the engines of death that they are, the film goes into an almost hyper-reality.

The old adrenalin junkie mantra of "living more in five seconds than most people do in a lifetime" comes to mind.

It's pretty traditional, really, for samurai pictures (barring the more trashy chanbara ones like the Lone Wolf and Cub movies) to start out with some long-winded thing with guys sitting around laying out all of the political/familial parameters of the story. Ran, for example, has this. I think it must be a holdover from traditional Japanese theater or something, I've not studied it enough to be sure but that's what it feels like. Almost a sort of narrative overture.

Makes sense that this is in 13 Assassins too, since Miike is going for a very formalized sort of samurai film.

As for other Miike films...to suggest certain ones or guide you to the best would almost be cheating. The fun is in discovering his range. Plenty of his movies are really pretty bad, but there's almost always something devastatingly GREAT in every one. He's one of the most surprising, versatile, and prolific filmmakers out there.

Dead or Alive is probably a good starting point though. It's really a very traditional Yakuza film but it kicks off with this insane intro that is all reckless energy and adrenaline. Then, it ends with...well, that would be spoiling it. Let's just say that there's a 12th hour surprise that is just COMPLETELY nuts. Total narrative suckerpunch. Most of the movie is just kind of so-so and there are better Yakuza films out there, but none as ridiculous.

Happiness of the Katakuris is pretty much a must-see as well. A musical about a family of murderers.

Audition is an odd horror picture about gender and Japanese attitudes toward women. It's usually the first Miike people see, at least before 13 Assassins came out.

Great Yokai War is a kid's film with lots of puppets and monsters.

Ichi the Killer is...well, Ichi the Killer.

Gozu is his David Lynch tribute.

Izo is a two hour loop of violence. It's pretty interesting in a metaphysical sense.

Graveyard of Honor is a good remake of a 1970s Yakuza flick.

Then there's about 100 other ones out there, these are probably his most available/watchable.

There were 15 minutes cut for the international version. That kind of thing is not at all unusual for foreign films (the assumption is that we Americans can't handle too many scenes of people talking or long movies, I guess), but then usually when the DVD comes out you can buy either version, or the DVD comes with both versions, but that has not been the case here; I think I heard something vague about them only having bought the rights to one version.

God, you're right about the first half being slow. I can only watch it in 20 minute chunks.

Looks like the ass kicking is about to start though.....

Some freaky shit with the chick with her arms cut off though....

I like some of Miike's wierder shit and I loooove Kurosawa, but I just couldn't get in to this one. The beginning is indeed slow as hell, but like Mike says, it's par for the course for films like this. The problem is that by the time you get to the 90 minute slash-a-thon at the end, you still have no idea who the fuck is who beyond the main good and bad guy so the deaths Cary no weight. And the final showdown is weak as hell too.

The fights were decent thughh, it's just that they are so relentless for the latter half of the film that you become numb by the end. All style, no substance.

I fully concur that this movie is a SLOOOOW starter. There is decent action later on, with a couple of the characters being very enjoyable to watch. We dubbed the major ass kicker 'Steve Seagal'.

I took issue with the end (a miraculous event takes place). Overall I was not impressed.

As with most "group" action movies it's tough to keep who is who straight. Even in movies like The Magnificent Seven. I couldn't name any of the characters. There's the guy played by Yul Brenner, Charles Bronson, Steve McQueen etc. but the names of their roles? No idea.

It's been over a week or so since I've seen this movie and certain scenes are still playing in my head.

For example, where one guy is running across the roof tops and then leaps down into a sea of mooks and they all back away lightning fast and form almost a perfect circle around him almost as if somebody had dropped a man eating tiger in their laps. Brilliant.