Life - Barney's Incorrect Five Second Reviews

Life - Barney's Incorrect Five Second Reviews
Black Barney   April 13, 2017  
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Well that was a bit of a hot mess. Overall, I would consider it a success in that I was pretty creeped out several times. My heart was racing and all that. It's just important not to think about the movie too much while watching it. 

One of the problems with putting smart people in space is that they then need to act smart all the time. Having a scary creature in space can be fun since most of the time the protagonists are trying to get away from it and escape. But here, we have scientists well aware of quarantine protocols so they are not really trying to get away from it, which changes the whole nature of the movie since we can't really identify with any of the protagonists. Where's Ellen Ripley when you need her, to suggest blowing this thing out of an airlock or something? 

Ryan Reynolds is his usual obnoxious self, and Jake G makes some attempt at adding  depth to this movie that totally falls flat. Reading Goodnight Moon and crying?? This isn't a drama, no one cares. Just get away from that thing. 

Anyway between this movie and Gravity, I don't think kids are going to be rushing to join the ranks of NASA. Hey Timmy, what would you like to be when you grow up? "An accountant."

Still a good movie, just not anywhere near great. 


Heart rating: 3.5 stars (it works)

Brain rating: 3 stars (don't think, just watch)

Posted: 13 Apr 2017 12:06 by Vlad #246475
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Man, after watching Gravity I wished there were more movies with pseudo-realistic approach to space and physics. I specifically remember wanting "something like Alien, but in zero G". And now, I have zero interest in watching this, and it makes me feel bad, because all these people spent a lot of time, effort and money to make a movie specifically upon my stupid request. Maybe when it comes out on DVD...
Posted: 13 Apr 2017 12:18 by SuperflyTNT #246477
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A couple people I know (HOTSEATGAMES, for one) said it was absolutely nail bitingly terrifying
Posted: 13 Apr 2017 12:35 by hotseatgames #246479
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I found several scenes very tense, indeed. It's not a perfect film, but I found it well worth watching.