LOOK WHAT SATAN SENT ME 2013!!!

Stormy went and posted into the other thread, so I thought I'd fix his NONCOMPLIANCE and break it out here.

Remember...PHOTOS ARE MANDATORY.

Stormseeker75>>>

Satan, you are a weird one. A box full of random electronic bits including a network cable, headphones, a fucking ethernet box and a computer game which I may play because hey, why not. Oh, and a bunch of Whoppers which I actually love so suck on that, Satan.

There's also a copy of Panic Station in there which I never purchased for myself. Satan was too kind, however, and printed out a copy of the rules that don't suck and are actually playable. Satan also included the Newlywed Game which is funny because now my wife wants to play it.

Best of all, is a copy of Batman: Arkham Asylum trade paperback which looks amazing. Grant Morrison + Batman=Awesome.

Thanks, Satan. Now, to send my target his gift. I was going to be generous but Satan has inspired me

Satan also included the Newlywed Game which is funny because now my wife wants to play it

Does it involve making whoopie?

What's whoopie? Oh, you mean like fucking!

Mallrats is a classic.

Thanks for fixing me without giving me a beating.....yet.

Michael Barnes wrote: There's also a copy of Panic Station in there which I never purchased for myself. Satan was too kind, however, and printed out a copy of the rules that don't suck and are actually playable.

Talk about a gift from Satan themself!

I'm seeing a lot of talk about gifts received and how photo's are mandatory and yet no photo's to be seen.

I was worried that our frosty weather might delay my gift from Old Scratch, but I was relieved to find out that he lives surprisingly close to me, in Columbia, MO. I was worried he might be pissed about Mizzou losing the SEC championship this weekend, so I armed myself.



I cracked it open, and saw a slip of paper. Expecting a note from the red guy himself, I instead found this helpful document.



The devil also apparently has an affinity for old textbooks. At the very least, Hell University desperately needs some new curriculum.



Knowing I perhaps might enjoy a movie I already own on DVD, he sent me the same one on VHS.



Also Slashdance, which I'll never watch because I have no VCR.



And now we get into the stuff that is actively awful, rather than aggressively pointless. First up, a game that has been mauled and damaged by what I will assume was water.



Suspect one for the mauling of Awkward Family Photos? Ark Linkletter, history's greatest monster.



Obviously in preparation for the beast that ravaged this box, I also got a helpful guidebook. I haven't yet found the entry for Art Linkletter, but I admit I've only skimmed it so far.



Whoa, whoa, whoa! Now I need to consider the possibility that the mob is involved in this abomination.



Oh, wait. I found out what it was. It was this copy of Talisman: Blood Moon!



But wait, there's more? Oho! Apparently Satan didn't know what he could get for this particular title!



I would be remiss if I didn't mention the packing material, a pile of World of Warcraft CCG cards. I guess that must be hell's version of packing peanuts.



Thanks, Old Scratch! I can't help but feel this could have gone much worse.

MIGHTY FINE, Satan!

I have that whole Time-Life Enchanted World Series. I permanently borrowed them from a library I used to work at.

Slashdance, WTF!?

Mississippi Queen?!?!? Double WTF! If Black Rose is in there...

Michael Barnes wrote: Mississippi Queen?!?!? Double WTF! If Black Rose is in there...

I checked, and I'm pretty sure it isn't. My wife was really excited to see it, because it's totally the kind of game she enjoys. She has told me before that she likes any game with the SDJ logo on it.

While German games are legion here; alas, the Black Rose is not -- I'm keeping that for my own personal collection.

That Time-Life Enchanted Series is piled around here in such an amount it is hard to traverse my subterranean lair. Keeping one set for myself -- the rest will be sent out in dribbles for years to come in an attempt to hook the recipient on an otherwise nigh impossible series to complete!

San II Defanso- You an Irish rugby fan?

I'm afraid not. It was a hand-me-down from a buddy.

Well, it looks like Satan dispensed with sending me a turd and opted to send me a padded envelope full of dingleberries.



We have here a Playboy from 1988 (AKA the Sears Catalog underwear section of pron) with bonus detached cover, L. Sprague de Camp's The Fallible Fiend (this looks okay, which puts it miles ahead of this other stuff), Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey DVD, and Hell's Headbangers Compilation Volume 5 CD (for when I'm wondering what Cookie Monster would sound like against a blast beat). And last and certainly least, Devil Bunny Needs a Ham from Fuck You, Asshole Cheapass Games.

Wow, I feel like one of the Peanuts gang at the end of A Charlie Brown Christmas when Linus gives his speech about the true meaning of Christmas. But instead of learning about Christmas, I've learned the true meaning of Secret Satan, and instead of a speech, Linus crapped in my mouth while I was passed out (from his eggnog, the bastard!) and drew dicks all over my face in permanent marker.

Hail Secret Satan.

San Il Defanso wrote: The devil also apparently has an affinity for old textbooks. At the very least, Hell University desperately needs some new curriculum.

This totally cracked me up for some reason. Hilarious!

-from the peanut gallery

OMFG...I'm in a public place working right now (one of those jumpy houses, kids are playing) and all the moms are staring at me because I am cracking up.

The Jessica Hahn Playboy. That is fucking hysterical. That might top the autographed picture of Goofy from last year. Well done, Santa!

As for the chemistry text book, I'm fairly sure there is some kind of numerological signficance to it all...is there anything of Satanic significant about 1959 or 1960? Does the 41 represent "one short" 42, the meaning of life? There are mysteries to be solved in that.

Man I am doing this wrong. The Jessica Hahn Playboy is inspired.

Jessica Hahn! I am dying over here.