TRANSCRIBED LOG OF G.E.S. Schenectady

DATE: 2457.6.22

MISSION: RESCUE PRINCESS RYAN FROM DARK CITADEL

TRANSCRIBER: Pvt. Robert “Da Scribbler” Liebl

Location: Drop Zone Alpha

Time: T-15 hours

As we began our descent, I couldn’t help but wonder how I got stuck with this mission log business.  Oh, it’s because I was a reporter prior to joining the Imperial army, is that it? Typical.  Anyway, the drop ship’s full of pumped up Marines, save me.  We’re in two groups: “The Competents” and   “The Fuckups”, aka Squad One and Squad Two.  Guess which one I’m in?

In Squad One, our C.O., “Howlin’ Mad” Micelli, is itching to get his boots on the ground and kick some Black Guard ass. Corporal Nino “Godfather” Amoroso is snoozing on the ride down.  The scuttlebutt I heard was that prior to joining up, she was a tri-vid porn star.  Not that I’d take such unctuous rumors to heart, but I would like to investigate them further.  Rounding out the Competents, Larry “Deadeye” Tuohy is prepping his weaponry, not saying boo.

In the Fuckups there’s me, “Grandma” Marohn, and Tabitha “Tigeratha” Shorthair.  How Marohn got to be called “Grandma” and Tabitha got saddled with such an unfortunate family name, I’ll never know.

Whoa.  We just landed and I’m hurrying out behind Shorthair.  Welcoming committee’s on the horizon, too.  It’s a column of scout cars, but I don’t think they’ve noticed us.  Sergeant Micelli issues orders to Grandma and Deadeye. 

Grandma set up a nuclear satchel half a klick away and detonated it, attracting the attention of the scouts.  When they came in range, Deadeye lined up his weapon that he lovingly called his BMFG and opened up.  They didn’t even know what hit them.  Even after they crashed and burned, my ears are still ringing from Tuohy’s gun.

Sergeant Michelli checked the map and said he’d like to resupply our meager equipment with a raid of an arms cache a hop, skip, and a jump away from our position.  So, we’re bagging our supplies, sending the drop ship back up to the Schenectady and moving out.

Location: Republic Radar Tower

Time: T-14 hours

Map reading and compass directions aren’t Sgt. Micelli’s strong suit.  When we reached the supposed cache, there was nothing but scrub and wilderness.  So, we started to double back when we came across a Republic radar complex.

We scoped it out and discovered it was only lightly defended by a team of laser riflemen.  Guessing he was pissed at himself for getting us lost, Sgt. Micelli powered up “Jessie” one of the older T-77 model heavy hover tanks and  told Tigeratha to lay down some shells with “Nimrod”, our antiquated AA-4 flying howitzer.

One thing’s to be said about Pvt. Shorthair, she’s got an eye for firing solutions.  Her first spots were dead on, destroying one of the dishes and causing the riflemen to scatter and take up defensive positions to find out what the hell was going on.  Sgt. Micelli put pedal to metal and Jessie lurched down the embankment. 

When the riflemen saw that mechanical monstrosity heading in their direction, not to mention the shells landing around them, the smart half of them took to the hills.  The stupider half stayed and became meat puppets.

After letting Shorthair and Micelli blast the crap out of the remaining towers, a resistance fighter came out of the woodwork and greeted us.  He was attracted by our stealthy assault here and told us that there was cell of his compatriots several clicks away.  It was a long trip, but it is on our way, and the enemy of my enemy is my friend and all that.  Right?

Location: Resistance Hotbed

Time: T-13 hours

Jesus, we just lost Sgt. Micelli to a sniper.  We’re here for all of two minutes and the sergeant buys the farm, along with some cows. Marohn’s in charge until we are resupplied.  The resistance here is more than holding their own.  Hell, they don’t even need our help.  They do, however, make mention of a Secret Police HQ where they believe the enemy is falling back to.

That’s all Grandma needs, she orders us to prepare to move out.  I could almost see a burning glow in my boss’s eyes, like she wanted to hurt the enemy lots.  Granted, I didn’t know Micelli that well, but he seemed nice enough to me. Guess Grandma was robbing the cradle, or something, to get that reaction to his death.

Location: The Gauntlet

Time: T-12 hours

One thing’s for certain, Imperial Rangers we are not.  We got lost, again.  This time, the Guard is laying it on thick from a position that is so advantageous to them, we need to cross a veritable kill zone to even think about engaging.  Marohn’s tapped Deadeye to act as her wingman in the initial attack.

Deadeye made it across the kill zone.  Grandma didn’t.  She caught a mortar hit that shredded her to pulled pork.  Deadeye’s emptying his weapon into the remaining Guardsmen.

Oh shit, he’s calling up Pvt. Shorthair, telling her to bring “Sue”, our bomb disposal walker.  Something’s up.

Whew.  Turns out those Guardsmen are dense, fanatical peckerheads.  When they realized they were in a losing position, one of them activated a doomsday bomb.  A piece of ordinance that could wipe out a small city.  Shorthair made “short” work of it.  If we ever have to do this shit on a regular basis, I’m recommending that Sue be part of our initial armament for every touchdown.

Seeing that both squads are down two, Cpl. Amaroso’s stepped up to command. We’re heading back to the original plan, the straight shot to the Princess.  No more taking the scenic route.  And that’s fine by me.

Location: The Bone Yard

Time: T-12 hours

Can we please, please, PLEASE ask for directions to where we are going? Even if it’s from enemy sympathizers? Pop quiz: From the previous statements, what are the chances that we are not where we are supposed to be?  If you answered, “Pretty Good” then you get a cookie. 

As horrible as our navigation skills are, this isn’t so bad.  It’s a junkyard full of old shit, kind of like the stuff we’re using currently.  Being auxiliaries, we have to make do with hand me downs, so this place is like going to the mall.  Each of us spread out and took a pile to root through.  Cpl. Amoroso whooped when she got a laser fork online.  Don’t laugh, that thing can pierce steel.  It also makes wonderful s’mores.  I got a happily surprised look from the Godfather herself when I was able to kitbash an energy cannon into working.

I guess our celebration attracted some attention, because a wedge of automated approach bunkers came our way.  The bunkers are really nothing more than mobile cover that’s armed to nine decimal places.  Despite being plodding and ungainly, they can and do lay down a crapload of suppressive fire.  We had no choice but to retreat to the fringes of the Yard.  Tigeratha got nailed by a shock round and she dropped.  As we helplessly watched, we saw some of Guard come from behind the bunkers and drag her behind it.

Now, there’s only three of us left.