I'm Struggling with this Hobby, Y'all

I don't know what to tell you Jeff. Geeky hobbies is about geeky "stuff".

I cannot relate to your plight. I buys tons of games, AND I have a clicky keyboard that I have probably dropped $300-$400 dollars on, and I have 3 pairs of high end headphones, and don't get me started on what I have spent on camera equipment, and yo-yo's and vintage audio and vintage SciFi books, and LP's.


And OMG camping equipment. I probably get more REI dividend checks each year and people buy in camping equipment.

And old VW's, always on the hunt for more vintage parts for my bug.

I am definitely not a minimalist.

MOAR STUFF!

HA! This from Jeff White, who got me thinking over the weekend that maybe I actually DO want to get some Heroscape...

Bottom line- don't take games too seriously. Across the board. If buying a game is a BIG DEAL and you feel like you NEED to do it, CTFO. .

Oh, you definitely want Heroscape, Michael. That you do...

All this recent posting though is just the next step in the inevitable. All year I've sorta been coming to grips with what I now want outta this hobby. I'm just kicking and screaming on my way to the inevitable.

Change is hard, yo.

Child Services will be sent to the households of all young boys with no Heroscape under the Christmas tree this year.

If buying games is distracting you from what you enjoy about gaming, knock it on the head. I'd advise not buying anything new, at least for a bit. I came to a very similar realisation about video gaming a few months ago. I've self-banned myself from buying anything new, at least until I've cleared some of the backlog in my GOG account. (Also, I rediscovered my Spectrum emulator. Fuck new games. I have Manic Miner).

Because, unless you want it to be, the whole consumerist side of things doesn't have to have an impact on your side of the hobby at all.

You know what I'm doing boardgamingwise this Christmas? I'm not buying any new games to play down at families nor have I asked for anything specific as a present. Some of my friends are coming over and I'm digging out my old copy of Dungeon to introduce to my nephew. Who's already really excited, because it's the first time he's been invited to sit in with what he calls the "big" games. Honestly, I really do not mind the fact that I'm not going to have whatever the current trendy games are.

I took a ten year break from gaming and it was still here when I was ready to get back. In fact, it had exploded since I quit and am still catching up. The hit new game at the last con I went to was called Settlers of Catan

I think Von Tush said it best on Page 1 of the thread so I didn't read the other pages yet. At the end of the day YOU are the one who decides. I've come to a similar point, but I don't see it as a bad thing, at all. I don't hang out at BGG any more, I don't dig around sites reading about new games, and the more I distance myself from it, the more I realise how easily you can lose perspective when you're "in the nerd zone". Like, just now I logged in and saw Matts Five Tribes article and looked at the box image. Fuck that. I mean, seriously, don't judge a book by its cover, but unfortunately too many people try too hard to equate games with some kind of higher art form. It ain't. Nobody needs hundreds or thousands of games or annual lists of new releases in the hundreds featuring fucking twats with floppy hats, big grins and fucking made up coin types and shuffling shit round as "strategy".

And the same goes actually for zombies and the other crap. If you are into all that, then just go with it, you don't need anyone else to justify it or condone it or empower it, we all pay our own money and make our choice, but I always like reading your stuff Jeff because I feel a lot of the stuff you do, and actually the biggest negative for me with the consumer culture thats present is that (again *for me*, not trying to brush this over anyone else before you get your knickers in a twist y'all), it detracts from experiencing and enjoying games, I would have loved to have "grown up with" the boom in games, but I didn't, so now it's a waste of time trying to fit my life around a thing that's never going to match. Pick a few games, heck ,even one fucking game, that you enjoy, and like. It may be that actually you're not that bothered about games and just don't want to admit it. But I've managed to accept that I'm going to get a lot more out of half a dozen games played when I get the time, and that I know well and deeply, and have opponents who feel the same, and are fun to hang out with, mostly thats 2P with the wife, I have a F2F Twilight Struggle opponent now, and maybe a couple of others who will make up a local TS league, I'm excited to play that several hundred times and get the most out of it.

I will at some point paint my Memoir 44 minis, I still play Agricola and Innovation with the wife. And I have a handful of guys who come round now and then so I get to play a bit of F2F Brass, Tigris, to try whatever they like (Power Grid, Steam) and god damn it, 5 player El Grande, but I don't need to be on the lookout for new stuff, am not really interested in it either, am not at all convinced there's anything really worthwhile getting any more (like, what I have is really as good as it can get), and bit by bit am accepting that I just need to let go, to occasionally be able to dip in and read stuff online without it leading to some weird time wish fulfillment thing where you need to own shit to try, or "have" (just in case, ooo it might go OOP, so fucking what, life goes on), making up fantasy scenarios where you have a regular group to play all these games. I mean just the simple maths of being in your 40s with 2 young kids, a time demanding and very stressful job, dividing the "free time" (hint: rarely fucking happens) into what to do with it, and it will take me until I'm as old and ugly as Pete to get through 2 or 3 games **played to the full*, but even if I break out a new game every time I could game (which would be fucking horrendous, who the fuck likes learning new rules every time), I wouldn't get through a fraction of the number I used to own and that seems to pass as average if you believe what you see on the websites.

We all get to make our own way with shit, you just need to stop the bit of you that seems to want validation in how you feel and just live your life in accordance with how you're feeling and just turn your back on stuff thats not really fitting in. Its just clutter thats distracting you from making the most of what is supposed to be your fun time. Its great to join in online communities from time to time, but even online friendships aren't usually worth more than the paper they are written on, I like reading your stuff, and there are a lot of people here who write stuff I find interesting, but you know, none of it is going to change my life in any important way. At least over here it's not filled with contrarian argumentative socially disadvantaged passive aggressive fucktards trying to pull the wool over your eyes and make you think that they are somehow authorities on stuff. There is no such thing as a fucking expert in "board games". We're all just silly cunts trying to pass the time now and then because the alternative is not always that appealing.

You're alright Jeff. Pour yourself a white russian and remember, that we're all The Dude. One way or another.


(following on - thought Chutney had a good point about the romanticism, it is one thing to be around for what feels like a "new movement", but now with all these threads about kickstarter and the ridiculous glut of garbage that comes out every year, its almost like there needs to be an "indie" movemenet again withing boardgaming, but think how stupid that is. No matter how many people casually play boardgames, boardgaming is still totally and absolutely a niche, but somehow the industry is presented to those who should know better that its somehow necessary to "keep up" with the new. Utter bullshit. It's one thing realising that yourself, another when you realise that ALMOST ALL OF THE "EXPERT VOICES" are in on it. Like, the big websites, the reviewers, the online communities and news, its all reinforcing this rabid desire to repackage, imitate and sell the same, no not the same, fucking INFERIOR shit year after year after year to the same buffoons who continue to not only buy it but seem proud to have hundreds HUNDREDS if not thousands of games sat on their shelves like a badge. Its mental. Nobody buys a room full of music to just sit on the shelf, except A MENTAL PERSON. But not only is it accepted, its laughed about, encouraged, shared and presented as normal.

Then you get nonsensical stuff where people crusade about these huge projects that they will play ten of their games ten times each like its some kind of NASA mission to fucking Jupiter. Way to go sport! None of the big sites and "famous" (LOL) reviewers are talking about it because they're all happy to rake in the advertising cash (sites) and free games (reviewers). Compare the amount of actual critical analysis and discussion of strategy in these so called "strategy games" to the rest of it, what is it, less than 1% FOR SURE. A handful of games (proper games) have small cults of followers who might dig into this, but these are tiny outliers in a sea of mass produced (relative to its audience), unnecessary, derivative drivel thats dressed up every year like some essential big thing and none of the big voices seem to get any air time to say hang on, do we need any of this shit. Nah, lets post photos of the 50 new games we stuffed into suitcases to get back from Essen, saving shipping on the online orders of the other 50 you bought cos you couldnt want to actually get there to fill your bags. Ugh. Its NOT normal to have hundreds and hundreds of unplayed games, and to go out every year pretending that the industry is so innovative that each year provides stuff you simply must get and own and then babble about YAY ITS GREAT THUMB ME, you can justify it to yourselves however you want, but by definition everyone who has an online presence that doesnt stand up loudly and say this to be the case is juat a fraud to me, and thus can be safely enjoyed as a funny amusement, but then ignored. Theres another top tip Jeff.

Soory mr White, but all this consumerism shit is just bullshit. It is no more ingrained into boardgaming than into most other hobbies. It's just about people.

Most people are happy to just play a few games they like with people they like. Just like most people have a few books and a few cds/dvds, go to a few movies, have a few guns in their homes.

To some people it becomes their hobby. Something that they dig into deeper as it reveals more and for them it increases the enjoyment they get out of watching, listening, playing. Because talking to friends about what you do is about as much fun as actually doing it. So you want to tell about something new, special, extra, something interesting that you can share.

It used to be special to have Settlers, then it became special to have Heroscape, then it was War of the Ring and then it was the hotness and then it was about getting to know the classics, and the obscure stuff from the 1970s. That's what happens when you dive into a hobby, and the parallels are plain to see.

It also has to do with phases in your life. When you were a kid or in college, you had lots of time, not so much money, so you played the heck out of what you had. It was great. Then you got a job, so more money, so you could afford to buy more. And nowyou got kids, ergo no time and less money. SOme keep buying in the hope they can get to play it some time, you can quit, or buy games suited to your family. I'm curious to see what character this site will have in 10-15 years time when the kids get out of the house in most FAT families.

Nobody is forced into supporting any kickstarters, nobody is forced into subscribing to the new hotness. If it wears you out, shut it out. Very rarely do people spend too little time on the internet.

The 'nerds' as mr White derisively calls them, are just people who either have dug deep into the hobby or have a lot of time and money on their hands. It is their way of connecting to others and I don't see why we (because I identify with nerds) should be put down for that. And that applies to collectors of art, people who go to concerts a lot (I used to as well), or buy/read lots of books (me too), collect comics and any other hobby. Yes, it sometimes goes over the top, and yes, some people are pathetic in their attention grabbing. Maybe they are very lonely, or even fat and smelly? So what?

I take issue with making a judgement on these people (some of which are my friends) and not wanting your kid to become like them. I hope my kids have hobbies and that it provides them with friends and interesting and meaningful experiences. Instead of turning them away from hobbies provide them with the sense of self worth and independent mind that will help them to steer clear of excess and enjoy what there is.

I can specifically think it was fucking awesome for those of you who got to be there when these games came out in the 90s with their weird german rules and funny looking components and got the time to breathe the air in the box a few times before the next clone came along. I love reading the stuff from you lot that were there "living it" when it really kicked off. Thats cool.

bomber, you just wrote somewhere just recently that back when you were younger (in your 20s ?) you were more interested in chasing tail. My bet is that that was a helluva way better to spend your younger years than pushing cubes in Panamax. not that the two have to be mutually exclusive, but given the choice...