Arguably the most dope, yet retarded, thing I've done

This doesn't really apply as music, but I have to share this because it's way too funny for me not to. A little self-deprecation isn't a bad thing, I suppose.

So, my work laptop is dying, and so I'm transferring files off of it onto a flash drive. I'm meticulous when it comes to filing my shit on my computers, because I hate needing things yet not being able to find them.

Anyhow, why do you care? This is why: Whilst moving files, I found a text file in a random catch-all folder that I use to store temp files. It was titled BGGvFAT.TXT. I can't remember what song I was listening to when I had this epiphany, so forgive the cadence, but holy shit I was ROLLING when I read this again:

FAT

Oh My God

BGG, how does it feel to be bludgeoned by F.A.T.
Fascist rulers calling shots like blind, deaf referees
Oh, gee, was that aggressive but not passive, they gonna ban me?
Where else can I be subjected to balding, fat
limp dicks who act like they're just barely starting puberty

It's ugly over there, how clueless people dare to compare
games of Puerto Rican slaves to art, of suffering are they even aware?
Screaming "theme don't matter" as long as there's math in there
You'd think Europeans would be a little more wary of racism
from that whole 1940 thing over blue eyes and blonde hair

I don't get how it's cool for people like that to act snobby
in a hobby where most enthusiasts can be described as fat, smelly and sloppy
Who cares if a game is good as long as you're first to get a copy
Of yet another lame train game with a tacked on theme, different name
to allow grown ass Midwestern men to role play talking in bad Cockney

But fuck it, that's why there's the big shot, the Fortress AT
for punk asses like me who like to shoot shit free, open, and honestly
No need to be modest, no mod'er because we handle dip shits properly
Bitch slap them down like a dog in the street
No snitchin' by flaggin' "inappropriate", you're on your own, so sorry, G

You see, the Fort's all real not a damn thing is even close to fake
Got Sagrilarus, Matt Thrower, Barnes, Nate Dogg, Ken, and Matt Drake
Truth comes out here, kiddies, and it might be more than you can take
So real through the keyboard and screen you almost feel
Loter whip out his dick and Dirty Sanchez misogynists in the face

Oh, and speaking of Loter and Look off the hook with the FATCast
Shellie bein sexy with the first laugh, the show outshines and outlasts
Anything that BGG's sad ass bloggers and wannabe video celebs try to pass
off as quality, it's sad, where F-AT secretly
Gets Aldie and Derk's dicks hard to at least half mast

But the best quality about the folks at the F-AT
Is that they don't feel the need for subterfuge or subtlety
The banter is raucous, loud and there's can be some fuckery
But if you fit in, like original sin, the Fort
Offers the best board game site in the entire gaming industry

So any BGG passive-aggressive, brain burning, fun murdering assholes
Please remember that someday when your balls drop and your beard grows
There's a place for you here, so dear to my heart and to my soul
Where people are good, witty conversing is the rule
And mostly on Fridays, members lose their minds, going out of control

I'm still trying to understand why it's "dope, yet retarded" instead of "dope and retarded"...

So real through the keyboard and screen you almost feel
Loter whip out his dick and Dirty Sanchez misogynists in the face

It's worth any criticism or making fun of me just to know that I wrote this. I was DYING when I read it.

Who's "Ken"?

I enjoyed your clever (well clever might be too strong of a word) rhymes. Cockney and sloppy- good stuff.

I just wish I remembered the beat in the background...I might be tempted to have my 702 buddy record it for me. He was once, many moons ago, a Snoop Dogg protege' and toured 14 countries as an opening act.

It was probably JJ Fad's "Supersonic". Or something by the Fat Boys.

Fat Boys, Crushin'. Definitely.

I'll get flak for this but I hear the lyrics in Eminem's voice. I always like his delivery even if he is *hated*.

vimeo.com/25317859

J-Tripz. We used to party big as fuck back in the day. I just saw him in Las Vegas not too long ago...just as fucked up, just as awesome. He says "N-Cup" in this song, "New Compton Posse" is what that is. That's us.