Serious Question About Depression Type Stuff

So as many of you know, I have been unemployed since January. Over the last eight months it has got my SUPER down. Some days I hardly get off the couch. I know how pathetic it, but some days I sit down and BOOM, the whole day just flashes by. I went to a doctor a couple days ago and he prescribed me Paxil. I did some reading online and I'm pretty much terrified of what can happen when I decide to come off of it, if I commit to trying it in the first place that is.

I'm just wondering what some of you guys, and gals, here on the Fort think or know about it. I trust you lot more than a bunch of random internet loonies. Wait. . .

My wife's suffered from depression for about 15 years. A few pieces of advice off the top of my head:

- If you have a local mental health clinic, go there and see a psychiatrist to get a second opinion about your meds. I don't know about you, your doctor, or the drug you were prescribed, but most general practitioners aren't experts when it comes to mental health.

- Try not to feel ashamed or guilty. Depression is an illness, not a personal failing. My wife was in the same spot as you for about a year -- not working and pretty much unable to leave the house. Supporting her was hard work, and it was tiring, and it could be frustrating, but I was never upset with her.

- Drugs have a bad rep, and they aren't appropriate in all cases, but they can be very helpful for some people. If your depression is related to something not firing properly in the brain or a chemical imbalance, how is it any different than a diabetic taking insulin? They sure as shit make my wife's depression manageable.


Anyways, good luck at finding a new job, and I hope you find a way out of your depression.

I don't want to sound a scientologist but I don't think drugs are as effective as therapy. Just talk to someone. A professional, preferably. It'll help.

Finding work is tough. Do you know the average time it takes someone to find a job in your region? I bet that statistic will help enormously (I like math myself, I wear the logic like warm blanket). Like I bet you the average time to find a job is like 11 months or something like that. So i's totally normal that you haven't found something since Jan.

Also you're a cool guy and people like you, so don't forget that. You have value and you've made me laugh for more than once (that's reason enough to feel fulfilled in life, in my opinion. I think everyone should aim at pleasing me in some form or another to be more content in life).

Oh, and if you want to avoid getting depressed further, don't read Barnes' latest article. Good LORD that's some bad writing.

I was diagnosed bipolar in 1991. My best advice for you is:

1) Got to a doctor you REALLY trust. If you don't trust him/her, go shopping for a new doc immediately.

2) Especially when you are on new meds, monitor everything for a while.

3) Be completely honest when explaining dosage, including if you slacked off taking something for a while.

I hope things get better for you soon. If you ever want to chat, you can always PM me.

Dave

To top things off with being uneasy about the Paxil, I called the Dr.'s office today and told his assistant how I felt last night. I was totally zombified. I just sort of sat on the couch staring not really feeling anything at all. I told them I didn't like it.

I'm not depressed 24/7/365, it's just some days are REALLY bad. I told them I didn't want to get on something that was going to have me dependent after a week and I'd feel more comfortable if there was something I could take only when needed. The assistant called back and told me the Doc wants me to try it. The thing I'm worried about is after two weeks of taking it, I'll be in danger of suffering the major withdrawal symptoms, from what I've read at least.

I'll be calling the psych for a second opinion tomorrow.

Having had this myself in the late 80s, I would agree with Barney. Meds are often less effective than therapy and definitely therapy should be part of the treatment and not just meds.

SSRI's were not that effective for me and I stopped them cold (probably not a great idea) but had no bad things happen because of it.

I enrolled in a correspondance course to keep my mind active at the time and forced myself to do it (it was an essay writing/research History course). Also I forced myself to do some hard exercise every day (which I actually hate) on a stationary bike. I think both of these helped kick my brain out of the rut it had been in. I appreciate these things don't work for everyone but it did for me. Oh yeah, keep off the sauce while you're rebooting your brain...

@Barney: Meds *can* be an enormously effective therapy, but they're not usually most effective in a vacuum. Speaking from experience (both my own driven by a temporary situation relating to divorce and through my wife's more long-term experience), the combination of meds and at least some talk therapy are helpful. That said, sometimes it really *is* purely (or mostly) a chemical situation and some type of med will prove hugely beneficial to achieving and maintaining "normal".

@QP: See a proper psych MD (that, as Dave says, you truly trust) to work out a regimen that *works* for you. As for withdrawal symptoms, drugs (of all stripes) have wildly different impacts on folks. A proper doctor will help you through tapering off a med that isn't working [or, in the case of my wife, the process of getting pregnant and breastfeeding] without sending you around the bend. And, of course, take *everything* on the Internet with a grain of salt. There's so much half-assed or just plain bad data running around out there, particularly on medical topics, it's kind of scary.

On a purely personal level, I'd be careful starting with the "just when I need one" position--the classic "Mother's Little Helper". While a handful of Valium (or whatever) "for just when I'm a bit off," can be handy to have on-hand, they can be more of a mask than part of a proper therapy. Again, the right course is going to be very personal/individualized/custom to your situation, your head and your chemistry. A good doc that you trust will work with you to find that mix. The better you pay attention to the impact treatment has on you, the better it can be tuned.

Edit: and that was a long way of saying *exactly* what Dave said. He's a smart dude on this shit.

Definitely find a therapist to talk to. If nothing else it will help to have a regularly schedule appointment to look forward to. There are many different types of therapists and you may want to narrow your search based on what you're looking for in one. If you want to focus just on symptoms then look for a cognitive-behavioral therapist. If you would find more value in talking out what you've going through you should look for a therapist with a more humanist approach. And don't be shy to ask any of the therapists you check out if they can recommend others that might be a good fit for what you're looking for. Referrals are common, and finding someone that best fits your needs should be the primary concern.

On the meds, they can definitely be helpful if things are debilitating. But they seldom represent a fix on their own. It's possible you'll find alternatives to needing to rely on the medication. Or it's possible a lower dosage combined with therapy would be more helpful. These are more things to discuss with a therapist.

Finally, it sounds like this is linked fairly closely to the loss of your job, however you don't mention if the depression lead to your unemployment or if the depression came on afterwards. In either case (but especially if it is the latter) you should also think about engaging in some other regularly scheduled activity that gets you out of the house and doing something. You could take up a new exercise routine or find some free classes on whatever sounds interesting, or volunteer at a local shelter - anything. Whatever you pick, treat it like it is a job.

Depression is tough because it can snowball, as in you are overwhelmed by feelings that make you incapable of acting that leads to more bad feelings and on and on. The proper combination of medication AND therapy can be very useful in digging your way out of that hole. BUT, do find someone you can trust and who LISTENS to what you have to say.

I also agree with Andy about the exercise part. Keeping your body active REALLY does help the brain to funtion properly.

I've had experience with this too QP, and I'd be happy to discuss via PM but maybe an open forum thread is not the best place for it. I would say that you should rely entirely on a qualified professional, both psychiatrists and psychologists and rely on them rather than us lot, even if we've had similar situations. Whether or not this or that drug or technique worked for us has absolutely no bearing on what it might do for you, so try not to rely too much on recommendations here and get as much face time as you can with people who have professional accreditation and will speak to you face to face. Best of luck pal.