Secret Satan 2012 Pics! Post 'Em Here!

SuperflyTNT wrote: If you end up wanting Icewind Dale (1 or 2) to pair with Neverwinter Nights, I've got 2 copies of one, the other, or maybe even both.

I'd adventure with ya, bro! Just don't complain about line of sight with me! LOL

I'll keep that in mind Pete. Thanks for the offer.

Satan, knows no bounds and no mercy, this be a tale of woe...




Rather quarantine i thought i'd take the direct approach and shank the package with my knife in case any untoward vermin emerged from within.



Inside i discovered a note that read thus;

Hell there

You may want to skip to the bottom of the box. You'll find two games there are are actually good. Toss everything now.
If you decide to go ahead with the utter turd that's also in the box, have fun picking up the cubes. Its more fun than you'll have playing the pile of shit

Also Candy cause its christmas

Sincerely
Satan
Hell



Hell hath no fury lot cubes in the bottom of a box.



Alchemist is given the following description on BGG

It's a contest of cubes and numbers! Define a recipe of 1-5 cubes and you're awarded 2 cubes (according to the square where you define it) and you're awarded 1-10 VP (according to your choice of the numbers 1-10 that remain). Henceforth anyone who duplicates that recipe gets the same 2 cubes and the same VP while paying you 1 cube from your recipe -- but you can never duplicate your own recipe. Except for the 1 cube paid to the originator of the recipe, cubes used making recipes are out of the game, and the game ends when there are only two colors left in the general supply.

CUBE

CUBE

CUBE


CUBE CUBE CUBE !!!! AARRHHAHHGHGHHEHEHEARRRR


I was seduced by Satans lies !



I tried the 'candy'



A grievous error


I am genuinely thankful for the two Nappy 20 games. I had considered getting one of them a few months back but held off.

Alchemist however, I will burn it, and rid this world of some of Satans spawn.

Woohoo! Turkish Pepper! Satan smiles upon your...um...offering.

Brewmiester wrote:

metalface13 wrote:

repoman wrote: Brew

What are those boxes of cards? Is that magic or something else?

They're Rage cards. From the White Wholf werewolf game. Never as popular as Vampire: TES

Did my secret Satan just out himself?

Sorry, didn't participate this year as I had no idea where I'd be living by Christmas time.

Haha, guys, Secret Satan sent a HUGE, and I mean HUGE box to me. Look at this shot:

Note: For scale, my toddler son is 8 feet tall.

I figure it's a meta-box, a box of boxes, but I open it up and realize it's just one thing! Check it out!

Haha! How great is that! They used to make things like this! I am sure the Family will have Fun with one. I mean how could we--wait a sec. What's that guy doing... He's...







JERRY FUCKING LEWIS. This game has JERRY LEWIS ON IT. My kids immediately started saying "Glaaaaavin" and mugging uncontrollably. All I can think of is SLAPSTICK OF ANOTHER KIND and I weep.

...There is no end to this horror.


Hail Satan.

Ok, that and the small photo of Goofy are my picks for best of SS 2013.

Worst is the Liefied book and Spellfire.

Is that Dom Deluise on the throne next to Jerry Lewis?

Dear Satan,
Why hast thou forsaken me? I promise to be more evil in the coming year.

The package arrived around 1pm on the 24th. I always knew Satan was from North Carolina. The box was covered in palindromes: “Go hang a Salami, I’m a lasgna hog”, “Ah, Satan sees Natasha.”, “No Devil lived on!”, “Rats live on no evil star”, “Too hot to hoot!”, “May a moody baby doom a yam!”, “Pa’s a sap”, “Ma is as selfless as I am”, and the more mundane “racecar”.

Inside, a note:



Into the breach.



Digging through the first layer, the warning about dog crap on the outside of the box proved to be no joke as I discovered Kackel Dackel, or Doggie Doo, or whatever you want to call the game about helping your constipated Dachshund take a deuce on the neighbor’s lawn.



Satan knows I am a man of letters, so he provided me with reading material. The next items to emerge were four Transformers choose your own adventure-style books and Affenbande, an opportunity to put to use my waning German reading skills. In a cruel twist, Transformers is a little before my time; the characters and the setting have no meaning for me!



Behold! Star Wars Episode 1: Clash of the Lightsabers Card Game! Qui-Gon’s lightsaber is the curviest I have ever seen, but it is for my eyes alone. The picture will not show it. Another choose your own adventure book, this time with a fantasy setting.



What’s this? A box of Lord of the Rings: The CCG?

Nope.



It’s Tomb Raider and Star Trek: The Next Generation: The CCG: FU.

I blacked out at this point, but from what I can piece together, the package also contained even more Tomb Raider and ST:TNG cards, five M:TG cards, an assortment of Netrunner cards, two cards from UNO, a D&D Minis card, six Nintendo Game Boy cards with hot tips for various games, a dice set, two video game cards of some type, and Miserian Wars: The Medieval Political Power Struggle Board Game. Additionally, as if to twist the knife, the package contained Sim City CCG and Decipher Star Wars CCG cards, two games that I believed myself free of after the Great CCG Cleansing of 2008. Edit: And a used container of Play-Doh, and a Jumanji trading card. Sweet jesus. Edit 2: And a Marvel Overpower card. And some kind of token.



There is nothing left to do but pick up the pieces and carry on.

The playdough is actually a specially made blend made as a "more gritty brown realism" expansion for the dog game.

Wish you were here,
-Satan