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Blade Runner 2049 - Barney's Incorrect Five Second Reviews
- Black Barney
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How has this movie not even made $90 million yet? Is it the length? I am so happy I didn't miss the chance to see this in theatres.
I think my biggest takeaway is how surprisingly affecting it was. I couldn't get enough of the scenes between K (Gosling) and Joi (great supporting performance by Ana de Armas). The 2nd scene in the movie felt like almost 20 minutes of just setting this up, and at the time i found it surprising to spend this much screentime on developing this sub-plot, but it sure paid dividends. It all sets up a highly impactful dramatic scene down the road that was worth the price of admission for me alone.
I loved so many levels of this movie, it was a joy to watch and to listen to. Villeneuve sure has fun using sound in his sci-fi films, and I find myself really looking forward to Dune. Also, easily the best use of CGI I have ever seen in a movie. It puts Rogue One to shame.
I much preferred this sequel to the original. There's a lot of sci-fi meat here for fans to chew through.
This had better get a cinematography nomination at the very least. i would love to see it win for that.
It certainly exceeded my expectations. Really happy I got to see it. Very powerful.
Heart rating: 4.5 stars
Brain rating: 4 stars
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- Michael Barnes
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I was very unimpressed by it. It was loud and pretty, but not much else.
I'll watch Blade Runner again (any cut, any time), but I'm not sure I'll ever watch 2049 again.
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- Black Barney
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Full disclosure, I rounded up the heart rating and rounded down the brain rating.
It’s no Mad Max, which was loud and pretty and much much more. But I think this was well beyond just being beautiful and loud. Like I say in the review, I really ate up the relationship between K and Joi.
The climatic scene with the car getting hit with waves was some pretty fun filmmaking too.
Ford and Leto were a little flat for me. There’s more than enough awesome stuff in here to keep it afloat. There’s tons to talk about to which isn’t a common thing. I imagine with Last Jedi, we’ll have gone around the block after a couple weeks.
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For example, there is the thinnest of evidence that a replicant gave birth (and wasn't a human with a pelvic bone graft, a surrogate pregnancy, or just had some trauma. Based on this, Leto has his hit-girl kill police and docs all over the place. But why can't a replicant have a kid? Do they even have a uterus? Are they unable to make eggs/sperm? Was it necessary to have a human male (Deckard?) or a specially designed replicant (Deckard??) or just any male replicant (Deckard???) to conceive. If a human male can knock up a replicant woman, is the kid also a replicant? If so, how does this help Leto? Even replicants breeding true amongst themselves doesn't seem to help him with his, uh, supply problem.
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- Black Barney
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- Cranberries
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What did you make of the way Blade Runner 2049 was received?
[Whispers] I have to be careful what I say. I have to be careful what I say. It was fucking way too long. Fuck me! And most of that script’s mine.
Really?
Yes!
The story, or the script?
I sit with writers for an inordinate amount of time and I will not take credit, because it means I’ve got to sit there with a tape recorder while we talk. I can’t do that to a good writer. But I have to, because to prove I’m part of the actual process, I have to then have an endless amount [of proof], and I can’t be bothered.
[Editor’s note: Spoilers for Blade Runner 2049 follow in the next paragraph.]
But the big idea comes from Blade Runner. Tyrell is a trillionaire, maybe 5 to 10 percent of his business is AI. Like God, he has created perfect beings that, for all intents and purposes, there is no telling the difference from humans. Then he says, “You know what? I’m going to create an AI. I’ll have a male and female, they will not know that they’re both AIs, I’ll have them meet each other, they will fall in love, they will consummate, and they will have a child.” That’s the first film. The second film is, what happens to the baby? You’ve got to have the baby, you can’t have the mother, so the mother has to inexplicably die four months after she breastfeeds. The bones are found in the box at the foot of the tree — that’s all me. And the digital girlfriend is me. I wanted an evolution from Pris, who is inordinately sexy in the original, right?
I would say iconically so.
I shouldn’t talk. I’m being a bitch.
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- Black Barney
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- Black Barney
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It got cinematography which was really important. It also got sound editing and sound mixing. It got production design which is great. And of course it got visual effects.
You think it should have got a directing nom? Best picture? I would certainly have recognized it ahead of The Post, Phantom Thread or even Darkest Hour.
That's five academy award nominations, charlest. Hardly focked, no?
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- Black Barney
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