Fortress: Ameritrash Vow #1

SO SAY WE ALL!

You have my bow

What about a hot one? A naaaaaked one?

The Messy Game Room took the piss out of these videos particularly when Marshall goes into the Miller Light box at about the 1:15 mark.

"Now we got what looks to be seven beers....let's see what else is in here waiting on us..."

I'm assembling a crack team to go back in time to kill the person who made the first unboxing video. Still need the following archetypes: Tough but reckless guy who lost entire family while watching unboxing video. Scrawny techie nerd who might betray entire team in act 3. PM submissions.

Mad Dog wrote: SO SAY WE ALL!

SO SAY WE ALL !

The only unboxing video shall be for packages received from Satan during the holiday season.

The Seven Deadly Sins of Board Game Reviews
1. Unboxing videos
2. Hands-In-Front-of-the-Camera in video reviews
3. Having the audacity to pass "Initial Impressions" off as a review.
4. Stating your opinion as anything less than stone cold FACT.
5. Wall of text
6. Focussing on rules explanation rather than what it feels like to play the game.
7. Stupid fucking hats.

Eighth Deadly Sin:
8: You MUST pose in front of your impressive wall of games.

Josh, there is actually a Sin Zero:

STAMMERING.

"Well, uh, basically...um...the game is blah blah blah..."

I dislike ALL amateur video reviews. NONE are IMO worth watching. Including Dice Tower and SU&SD. Watching them is as awkward as having Donald Trump walk up and pat your bottom with those tiny hands.

But unboxing videos are THE WORST. In ALL areas. I've seen these god damned things for Lego sets, video games, car parts, appliances, phones...I'm sure there are some for food, pillows, toilet paper and toothbrushes. I FUCKING DEPISE watching a video of someone opening a product and talking about what it is inside it "And uh...here, basically, is the FFG catalog, it shows lots of other games you can buy if you so desire...and uh, here are the actual punchboards..."

What is the fucking point of watching someone open something? Are people so empty-minded now that they have to fill that vacuum with videos of people unboxing board games? I mean seriously, what the fuck is wrong with people these days? I have NEVER in my life thought "gosh, I wish there was a video of some dude opening that game so I can see what it looks like inside."

This is the kind of fetishizing consumer culture bullshit that BGG feeds on. Remember when being into board games meant PLAYING BOARD GAMES, not wasting your time watching unboxing videos? I'm sorry, I am going to pass unfair, general judgment on people that choose to make and consume this kind of garbage. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? Do watcha like on your own time, sure...but I have an opinion on it. And that opinion is that unboxing videos are a symptom of spoiled rotten people with too much time on their hands and not enough sense to do ANYTHING else.

But you know what, I wish that I was the kind of person that enough time in my life to just throw away on meaningless shit like this. I mean come the fuck on, WHITTLING is more productive and entertaining than watching an unboxing video.

I guess I'm just a judgmental old bastard because I also don't see the point of watching someone else play a video game, so what do I know.

Cloudy:

Sin Zero is actually Making a Video Review

Sin -1 is watching it.

Watching an unboxing is rather like my buddy's 13 year old kid watching videos of people playing Minecraft rather than actually doing it. Useless activities.

Space Ghost wrote: Sin Zero is actually Making a Video Review

Sin -1 is watching it.

Print is dead.

No really though, there is a way to make good video reviews. Like most things in this hobby not pertaining to plastic minis, the bar is still set on the ground and everyone seems to be ok with it.