Transformers 2

I actually have no interest in risking $9.00 of my hard-earned money on an apparently moronic movie like Transformers 2. I dislike Shia Le Boeuf, and while Megan Fox is villainously sexy, I am starting to worry that she might be a Brazilian Ladyboy^TM.

That said, I just read a most excellent review of Transformers 2. The review itself is probably more entertaining than the movie, sizzling with AmeriTrash-style hyperbole. Read it, feel the excitement, and then bring it... to your next AT game, your next EuroGame, even your next post here at F:AT:

io9.com/5301898/michael-bay-finally-made-an-art-movie

My favorite part:

"Transformers: ROTF is so long, you'll need to wear adult diapers to it. But the movie's pure celebration of the primal urge, and unfiltered living, will make you rejoice in your adult diapers. You'll relieve yourself in your seat with a savage joy, your barbaric yawp blending in with the crowd's screams of excitement."

I read that review the other day, pretty funny stuff. I like how the writer says the movie transcends plot.

Horrid movie. I wanted to leave like 3/4ths of the way in. The first one was cool, this one is just too much.

This was never going to be a film I'd enjoy. But I loved the trailer - I don't know why, it just looked really cool and exciting.

If Michael Bay is involved, I'm out.

-Will

Wasn't it Roger Ebert who said "This movie is what a four-hour erection looks like."?

That Roger Ebert comment reminds me of Cruel Intentions. i think I had a hard-on the entire movie. I was gonna pass out near the end.

I'm gonna see Transformers tomorrow on IMAX. I expect to hate it as much as I hated the first one.

Look, the first film featured a Mountain Dew machine turning into a robot and firing Mountain Dew cans in the heat of battle. That kind of says everything about it, doesn't it?

I hope I never see TRANSFORMERS 2, I don't care if Optimus Prime is in it or not. The first film was an absolute disaster with its only redeeming quality being the inescapable thrill of kinetic movement. This new one looks like absolute trash with zero redeeming qualities.

The thing is, big, ridiculous popcorn movies don't have to be this bad and this cynical. I watched GHOSTBUSTERS last night for the first time in years and I was stunned at how subtle and actually kind of low-key the movie is- and it was the big summer blockbuster of 1984. If you were alive back then, you'll remember that it was a HUGE sensation. I saw it like three times in the theater. And it's funny, because its good-natured comedy and simple pleasures seem so out of step with this season's blockbusters.

Michael Bay has gotten to the point where he obvioiusly believes that audiences will buy anything if it's big and loud enough. He's a smart guy, he knows he can oil up Megan Fox and put the 2010 GMC cars in a film with a lot of buildings exploding and people will go see it. The sad thing is that most audiences aren't able to see how condescending and insulting this approach to cinema really is.

Michael Barnes wrote:

Michael Bay has gotten to the point where he obvioiusly believes that audiences will buy anything if it's big and loud enough. He's a smart guy, he knows he can oil up Megan Fox and put the 2010 GMC cars in a film with a lot of buildings exploding and people will go see it. The sad thing is that most audiences aren't able to see how condescending and insulting this approach to cinema really is.

The really sad part is that Transformers 2 already has "$200 million in domestic ticket sales in just five days." It also made another $185.8 million overseas since Wednesday. So that means Hollywood reckon this a great success, and studios will scramble to crank out more of the same crap.

movies.msn.com/movies/article.aspx?news=417270>1=28101

Yeah but it's nothing new that bad movies make lots of money. Those Pirates sequels were horrible and made tons of cash.

I'm glad that Dark Knight made so much since that was a brilliant movie. Iron Man was great too.

I like big summer blockbusters, they're awesome. Die Hard 4, Dark Knight, Pirates, Spiderman.

This movie, just stinks.

Oh, I do too...I love big spectacle, big action, big excitement...but there are MANY degrees of separation from a STAR TREK or DARK KNIGHT and TRANSFORMERS.

Both STAR TREK and DARK KNIGHT show that a film can fit all the big-budget blockbuster criteria and still have heart and brains. Movies don't _have_ to be stupid to make a bunch of money.

As for the "I just want to switch my brain off" people...well, that just makes you a sitting duck receptacle for a LOT of bullshit, including advertising and subtle political agendas. Like these racist caricatures and incessant GMC marketing.

I mean come on, why would ALL the Autobots be GMC cars?

I'm gonna see Transformers tomorrow on IMAX. I expect to hate it as much as I hated the first one.

This sort of statement confuses the fuck out of me. (not calling anyone out, do what you want to do, etc, etc)

I don't mean to get all Clearclaw about this, but if you know the movies going to be fucking horrible, why even go? The studios don't give a shit about your opinion, they only want your money. If you give them the money, they win. You can hate their movie like it kicked your dog, and you can snark about relentlessly on the internet, and they still have your money.

So don't go.

Even before the glorious reviews about just how bad this movie is, we could all smell the stink from it. Some of that was left over from the first one, I'm sure. I didn't see it, and I don't intend to. I can tell it sucks from *the pitch*.

Just spend your money on beer. You'll be better off. And maybe the studios will get the hint and make better movies.

Not Sure wrote:

I'm gonna see Transformers tomorrow on IMAX. I expect to hate it as much as I hated the first one.

This sort of statement confuses the fuck out of me. (not calling anyone out, do what you want to do, etc, etc)

I don't mean to get all Clearclaw about this, but if you know the movies going to be fucking horrible, why even go? The studios don't give a shit about your opinion, they only want your money. If you give them the money, they win. You can hate their movie like it kicked your dog, and you can snark about relentlessly on the internet, and they still have your money.

So don't go.

Even before the glorious reviews about just how bad this movie is, we could all smell the stink from it. Some of that was left over from the first one, I'm sure. I didn't see it, and I don't intend to. I can tell it sucks from *the pitch*.

Just spend your money on beer. You'll be better off. And maybe the studios will get the hint and make better movies.

Yeah, i know it's dumb and I'm a sucker for doing this (I went and saw Shutter for crying out loud). On one page, it's because of Megan Fox, on another it's because of big special effects on an IMAX screen might be a nice way to spend a few hours. But honestly, the ONLY reason is cuz it's a sorta slow week at work, I'm working on a mindless project that I can't spend all day doing so I might as well take a generous lunch break and recharge my batteries.

It's on a Tuesday so it's not gonna be too expensive either. And all the other movies that are playing at the theatre are ones I've seen (Pelham123, Terminator, Star Trek) or are even more terrible (The Proposal, Angels and demons)

So that's why I'm going

That's cool. I have been to see movies that I regretted (I will probably never forgive my buddy for making me sit through Tropic Thunder). And sometimes you just want to do something. Again, I'd rather go spend my ten bucks in a bar. That way I can usually at least talk to the person next to me.

I left your name off the quote because it's not just you, and I didn't really want to point fingers. It's a phenomenon of "I know this is bad, but I'm gonna see it anyway..." That's the part I don't understand. Maybe everybody has special circumstances.

Hey, I got this milk I found in the back of the fridge from March... uh, 2008. You want to try it? I bet it's fucking horrible.