Transformers 2

I rarely see movies in the theater anymore, so I make damn sure that I will probably like the ones that I see. Probably the worst one I've seen in recent years was The Two Towers, and even that was okay.

hmmm.. yeah Son of the Mask is probably the correct answer. Soul Survivors is a nominee for me (I can't get through more than 5 minutes of it no matter how many times it's on).

But I think potentially worse than Shutter (my final answer) might be the remake of The Fog. The girl was smokin' hot but omg what a horrible movie. The original was SO scary too!

Hey how about the worst movie of the decade that you actually liked? Mine would be Lady in the Water. Awful movie... I loved it.

The Fog remake was awful. Glad I didn't pay to see that one.

Hard for me to remember everything I've seen over the past decade but probably the worst movie I liked was the silly Charlie's Angels sequel. Stupid with plot holes you could drive a shai-hulud through but it was a lot of fun.

One of my friends is always bugging me to go see movies, but he has terrible taste in movies. He wanted to see movies like: X-Men 3, Lady in the Water, and Twilight. I skipped all of those but did get him to see 30 Days of Night, which was pretty good.

Watching LADY IN THE WATER was like having a nude clown walk up and stick his finger in your bellybutton. It's that awkward. There is no redeeming quality whatsoever to that film, and it may qualify as one of the worst films ever made.

But then there's THE HAPPENING...

Michael Barnes wrote:

Watching LADY IN THE WATER was like having a nude clown walk up and stick his finger in your bellybutton. It's that awkward. There is no redeeming quality whatsoever to that film, and it may qualify as one of the worst films ever made.

But then there's THE HAPPENING...

Whoa. Dude, LADY IN THE WATER was pretty shitty, but mostly because it was so inert and silly. It was right there I stepped off the M. Night bandwagon, the movie was so bad.


However, THE HAPPENING makes LADY IN THE WATER look like a fucking 13-time Oscar winner.

Shandyman had a nice excuse for Lady in the Water, he said that his young son came up with the story. I don't know if he had any excuse for The Happening. Really, he is a talented cinematographer and possibly even director, but he needs to let somebody else handle the concept and scripts for his movies.

Out of morbid curiousity, I am looking at Rotten Tomatoes reviews for both Lady in the Water and The Happening. Both movies actually got worse ratings than Transformers 2, though the critics seem to be almost joyfully assaulting Transformers 2. Still, here is a vicious comment from one review about Lady in the Water:

"Crazy as this might sound, it turns out that self-indulgent ramblings designed to put your children to sleep are pretty much the opposite of art."

My dad and I have a tradition of seeing big budget loud action movie, so we saw Transformers together on IMAX today.

There were some entertaining bits of action, but there was far from enough to drown out the extremely annoying comic relief from bumbling melodramatic hyper emotive parents, which was replaced half way in with equally annoying comic relief from a bumbling melodramatic hyper emotive flat mate. But then the parents returned for more slapstick emo family drama at the height of the final battle. Ugh. I hate whoever was responsible for beating the crowd over with that "family" content.

I also thought the drool-preserving mucus-drenched lipgloss on Megan Fox's permapout was a freakish caricature of sexy.

Hatchling wrote:

My dad and I have a tradition of seeing big budget loud action movie, so we saw Transformers together on IMAX today.

There were some entertaining bits of action, but there was far from enough to drown out the extremely annoying comic relief from bumbling melodramatic hyper emotive parents, which was replaced half way in with equally annoying comic relief from a bumbling melodramatic hyper emotive flat mate. But then the parents returned for more slapstick emo family drama at the height of the final battle. Ugh. I hate whoever was responsible for beating the crowd over with that "family" content.

I also thought the drool-preserving mucus-drenched lipgloss on Megan Fox's permapout was a freakish caricature of sexy.

Since you're the only person in this thread who has actually seen the movie, we need more details. What about the scene where the robot humps Megan's leg? What about the Step-and-Fetchit Twins? Will Shia be up for an Oscar any time soon?

I suppose I'm supposed say 'spoiler alert'. But like the review said, it doesn't seem that important one way or another.

I'm trying to remember the details, but it's hard. I think my brain was scarred by the extremely annoying slapstick hyper-gushing parents. I wished the Joker showed up and dowsed them with some burning acid or something. Anyway:

Robot humps Megan's leg: annoying yes, but not as annoying as Shia's character getting jealous about it.

Stepin Fetchit twins: these were on par with jaja binks, but since they turned out to be competent and coordinated fighters, they didn't trigger that much irritation in the end. (Worse would be to witness the boardroom discussion between the makers of the film who decided on making the twins this way thinking that it would have mass appeal).

Another delight worth mentioning:

An attractive young woman tries to seduce Shia at college, but when a winding metalic tentacle snakes out of her butt hole and tries to drill a hole in Shia's head, you realize it's a Decepticon (a cylon-like decepticon).


That said, there were some entertaining action scenes.

Shellhead wrote:

Shandyman had a nice excuse for Lady in the Water, he said that his young son came up with the story. I don't know if he had any excuse for The Happening. Really, he is a talented cinematographer and possibly even director, but he needs to let somebody else handle the concept and scripts for his movies.

If you want to understand how the same guy who wrote and directed The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable could go on to make Lady in the Water and The Happening, read the book The Man Who Heard Voices by Michael Bamberger. It's the actual story of how LitW got made. If you don't want to read the book, here's a synopsis: Shyamalan is a deeply insecure, raving fucking egomaniac.

the fact that he's in all his movies is already weaksauce enough.

I still can't believe that as bad as The Happening was (and it was AWFUL), I still saw 5 WORSE movies than that in 2008:

Mirrors (omg, so awful)
The Clone Wars (pink R2D2 companion? AHHHHH)
Saw V (holy crap why do I keep going to see these?)
Deception (LOL, SO TERRIBLE)
Shutter (Worst movie of the decade I think)

I found this helpful FAQ for anybody who had questions about Transformers 2:

www.toplessrobot.com/2009/06/bonus_robs_...rs_2_faqs.php?page=1

Some excerpts:

"So the Decepticons want the shard? Why?
Uh... to bring Megatron back to life?

What?
That's what they said.

But the Allspark killed Megatron in the first movie.
Yes.

...and now it can also bring him back to life.
It's very powerful, this Allspark.

A lot was made of how Shia the Beef's hand injury was written into the film. How was this done?
Well, sometimes Shia had a huge bandage on his hand, and sometimes he didn't.

Can you explain Megan Fox's appeal?
Yes. She looks like a porn star and has the same acting talent as one, yet for some reason she makes mainstream movies. This tonal disconnect is what's so appealing about her.

Why can only a Prime kill the Fallen? Why can Jetfire teleport? Why can the Fallen wave a staff and make shit fly around? Why do actual cars and Autobots get sucked into Devastator's maw, but John Turturro and that other kid can run around?
Because... because FUCK YOU, that's why."

Shellhead wrote:

I found this helpful FAQ for anybody who had questions about Transformers 2:

www.toplessrobot.com/2009/06/bonus_robs_...rs_2_faqs.php?page=1

Some excerpts:

"So the Decepticons want the shard? Why?
Uh... to bring Megatron back to life?

What?
That's what they said.

But the Allspark killed Megatron in the first movie.
Yes.

...and now it can also bring him back to life.
It's very powerful, this Allspark.

Actually that bit made sense.
Im still confused why there was a terminator running around though.