Possibly the worst movie I've ever seen...

Punisher: War Zone is bad, but the rocket hitting the dude flipping across rooftops salvages it from being "wrost ever." I also have a soft spot for the movie from my friend yelling out "Punish her, Frank!" in the theatre during an attempted heartfelt moment with Julie Benz near the end.

Punisher: War Zone is bad, but the rocket hitting the dude flipping across rooftops salvages it from being "wrost ever." I also have a soft spot for the movie from my friend yelling out "Punish her, Frank!" in the theatre during an attempted heartfelt moment with Julie Benz near the end.

I appreciate the others are truly awful pieces of art, but they didn't do damage to me. Kick Ass seemed to violate some moral issues and not resolve them at the end.

S.

SLAPSTICK OF ANOTHER KIND

Madeline Kahn and Jerry Lewis play deformed quasi-incestuous retards that are actually smart. OR ARE THEY? I rented this in oh, 1983 or so from Spencer Furniture--this was before individual stores that just rented videos existed--pickings were slim.

By far, FAR, the worst movie I have ever seen.

Punisher: War Zone is a perfect B-movie. It's a bad movie, but it's very entertaining (I thought). I personalyl found TAKEN (which people seem to like) to be WAY worse and more ubelieveable. I mean, this guy dodges SMG-fire at POINT BLANK range. it's RIDICULOUS.

D&D is a far worse movie than either of those.

The worst movie I've seen ever was the THE FOG remake. It was HORRIBLE.

Look who's talking II, Cadillac Man were both up there tho

Dungeons & Dragons is one of the best worst movies ever. It fails at every single thing it tries to do, but hilariously.

The real worst movie ever is Rolling Kansas.

The "worst" movies to me aren't the Z-grade cheapies, PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE, or Turkish viking movies. The worst to me are the ultra-commerical, cynical, exploitationist crap masquerading as AAA Hollywood fare. Like TRANSFORMERS and G.I. JOE. Those are the truly bad movies, made without heart, passion, or care. I don't mean that on an individual craftsman level as these kinds of pictures employ hundreds of folks who are simply pursuing their trade and doing the best they can. I mean that at a high production/direction/writing level.

SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, for example, is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. The much-lauded Omaha Beach scene is as exploitationist and grand guignol as anything you'll see in an Italian slasher movie- it's just that the context appears to give it meaning. I laughed through the entire scene because I couldn't believe that people in the theater were shocked that people get literally blown to bits fighting in wars. Plus, it was really funny to see something so transparently maudlin and manipulative. The remainder of the film is the same kind of B-grade war adventure that would have stared Audie Murphy or John Wayne in eras past, just with this portentious tone of importance cast over the proceedings. It's more of an exercise in exploiting audience emotions than the worst grindhouse fare.

We got into a discussion (via email since I work from home) at my job about ZARDOZ. One of my colleagues caught it on Fox Movie Channel and was ranting and raving about terrible it was, it was the worst movie he's ever seen, blah blah blah. I rebuked him, pointing out that John Boorman is certainly not a hack director and that there is artistic merit in the film- even if it's due to its campiness and absurdity (which is wilful and absolutely intentional). You don't put Sean Connery in a ponytail, bikini, and thigh-high boots and not have a sense of how ridiculous it is. Also, the film is singular, unlike anything else out there, and the folks that made it probably had a DAMN good time (I imagine that mountains of LSD tabs and probably some amphetimines were involved). And there's some really creative imagery in it. No, it doesn't always work and there are parts that are genuinely, laughably bad. But it's still a better film that bottom feeder trash like G.I. JOE or TRANSFORMERS.

Michael Barnes wrote:

We got into a discussion (via email since I work from home) at my job about ZARDOZ. One of my colleagues caught it on Fox Movie Channel and was ranting and raving about terrible it was, it was the worst movie he's ever seen, blah blah blah.

Tell your friend he is frickin' high. ZARDOZ rocks for all the right reasons. True arthouse, and completely tripped out. But one of the greats in Science Fiction cinema.

Don't be a contrarian asshole, Barnes. People that have seen war movies in the past twenty years know folks blowed up real good. But folks that venture out for Spielberg's latest yarns may not have been expecting it. If you can find the merit in the direction of ZARDOZ but can't in SAVING PRIVATE RYAN; I know you're just being a dick.

I won't list a movie like TRANSFORMERS or G.I. JOE because they do what they want to do--put asses in seats and take money out of wallets. I have seen some poorly acted porn movies but they aren't going on my "worst of all time" list because they work for what they do. Same goes for the German tax loophole pictures by Uwe Boll.

I won't even put PLAN 9 on my list because Ed Wood was so fucking earnest you can't help but admire it a little. Like THE ROOM--the latest fucking disaster to get the PLAN 9 treatment.

My pick (SLAPSTICK OF ANOTHER KIND) has no redeeming value artistically OR commercially, but they kept right on making it! No one looked at the dailies a month in and said, "fuck this." Maybe it's the project manager in me, but this kind of movie offends me deeply. They should have pulled the plug--the fallacy of sunken cost is no reason to keep working it.

I'm not sure if the worst movie I've ever seen is "Cop and a Half" or "Problem Child".

And I've seen The Room... what a confounding disaster that is.

We all know the worst movie was From Kelly to Justin


Game, Set, Match.

When I saw Saving Private Ryan, I think people were more freaked out by the realistic portrayal of violence in a big summer movie than anything else. Also, the veterans sobbing in the audience probably brought things down a bit.

Saving Private Ryan's first 30 minutes is brilliant. The rest is AWFUL.

I hope Barnes hated Platoon, cuz I don't even know how that considers itself a war movie.

Neither of these movies holds a candle to Black Hawk Down, Hurt Locker or Restrepo



transformers II was a frickin' disaster

Black Barney wrote:

...Hurt Locker...

Hurt locker was machismo masturbation. Everything that happened in Hurt Locker would "never" happen in the field that way. They make it out that the military is unconstrained by miles of safety regulations, red tape and bureaucracy. I had to watch it throughout in complete suspension of disbelief. And then I had to remain there when it actually won movie of the year. Really? Meh.

If you are looking for a realistic interpretation of how a unit of that nature really acts in country, then you need to watch Generation Kill. But Hurt Locker was pure Hollywood trash.

Ken B. wrote:

Is it worse than Mortal Kombat: Annhilation?

Is that even possible?