What movie would you dearly love to see remade?

Also...Ice Pirates...holy crap...but that's another I don't really see how you can remake. There are some ways that movie is ahead of its time.

How about Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone and MetalStorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn...with 3D being a big deal and all these days...

wow, MetalStorm, i don't remember it at all but when I see photos of it, it rings an eerie bell. Ice Pirates was great when I was a kid. Was that movie sexualized at all? I think I remember it made me feel funny as a kid.

In fact, all these 80s sci-fi horror flicks had that weird effect cuz it was this terrifying suspense and violence that I was totally virgin too growing up in Winnipeg. My dad would watch all this stuff with his buddies (Alien, The Howling) and I'd catch glimpses and got super scared but insanely curious. Then in the video store, I'd grab stuff like CREATURE and always wonder about Lifeforce and StarCrash but never saw those ones. ....actually I think I did see StarCrash, I can't remember anything about it tho.

There were so many of those sci-fi horror movies in the 80s, it was nuts. I really should make an effort to see all the ones that I'd fantastize about in the video store as a kid. Babysitter was the only one I could con into renting something I probably shouldn't see. She rented Aliens and I didn't sleep for an entire summer. My mom fired her.

Be sure to add titles from the following list to your viewing stack. Not comprehensive, but a decent enough start...

io9.com/the-10-stupidest-and-most-shamel...max-rip-offs-5700413

Reboot Phantasm, one of the great American films of the 1970s? Are you out of your mind? That movie is UNTOUCHABLE. It just wouldn't be the same without the incomprehensible bullshit, weird references to Dune, dirtbikes and REGGIE. All of that would not exist in a big budget movie. That is actually, I think, one of my top ten favorite movies of all time. I am actually wearing a Phantasm t-shirt right now, I shit you not. NO REMAKE.

Just to be clear I do not disagree with anything above. I adore Phantasm, it's a brilliantly weird movie, mix and mashing a zillion fun ideas (RANDOM DUNE REFERENCE!) with car culture, dream-like imagery and amateurish acting.

But Coscarelli has been pretty upfront about his frustrations with the indie movie making process and if it was possible for more time and money to make a movie closer to his original vision, without losing what made the original so special I would be pretty jazzed about that.

After my earlier post I discovered that the original cut of Phantasm was three hours long and I guess Coscarelli has still has access to the negatives and has talked about releasing it, which might be closer to what I am talking about.

I've actually been thinking about Phantasm again lately, because it was clearly the inspiration for the Necropolis in Monte Cook's Ptolus setting. My players are just high enough level that they are thinking about invading the place soon.

This is kind of a tangent...but you know what I miss? I miss when on the poster/box art they'd draw somebody holding a laser gun...and it would be firing. Even if they were just like, standing and chilling. It'd be just shooting off to the side, even if they were looking in a different direction.

I'm all in on the retro futurism & outrun electro that's taken storm in some art circles.

blog.spoongraphics.co.uk/articles/showca...nspired-neon-artwork

Michael Barnes wrote: This is kind of a tangent...but you know what I miss? I miss when on the poster/box art they'd draw somebody holding a laser gun...and it would be firing. Even if they were just like, standing and chilling. It'd be just shooting off to the side, even if they were looking in a different direction.

Hell, actual ART to advertise movies would be nice. Drew Struzan, the guy who did the art for PRETTY MUCH EVERY MOVIE EVERY PERSON ON THE PLANET SHOULD LOVE (seriously, look him up and marvel at how many classics this guy did posters for) was still getting hired for years after you saw art on movie posters, but they would always pay him but not use. Apparently he finally said, "Fuck it," and won't do it any more. A damn shame, since I really want to see his work used on the new Star Wars movies.

My wife just got this book for her birthday, so fucking rad.
www.amazon.com/VHS-Video-Cover-Art-1980s/dp/0764348671

Michael Barnes wrote: Egg, you and me and Frank Branham and Zev need to get together and talk movies. Screw games. Us four would be a PANEL OF THE GODS in terms of discussing obscure cinema.

Hahaha...yeah that would be awesome to talk about absurd, Z-grade cinema creations. Most people I know think I'm nuts because I love to hunt down cinematic trash. My wife's cousin in particular loves to bust my balls. He went to school for film and is a big comic book fan. He'll peruse through my DVDs and be like, "You don't have any of the Marvel films??? But fuck almighty, you own an honest to god copy of "Night of the FUCKING Lepus!"

Now there is a film I'd love to see someone try to give another go with. Night of the Lepus! Giant rabbits that run amok.

Michael Barnes wrote: Halloween 3- the concept of this movie is BRILLEEEEEEEAAAAANNNNT...witches make killer masks and robots to take over the world. The movie is a mess. I'd love to see some kind of second attempt on this one.

Right??? I mean it's got some great ideas to work with...why not remake that and see if you can knock it out the park. John Carpenter has to score it though. If it's a success then they could follow through with the idea of a yearly Halloween film that is just a brand new story each time.

Michael Barnes wrote: Starcrash- oh lord. But yeah, Caroline Munro makes up for a lot.

This movie sucks the big one. What I love though is that they're literally trying to make a good picture. There is none of that wink wink, ironic bullshit. They set out to make a Sci-fi epic and it just happened to be a giant piece of shit. I sort of love it for that though. Nowadays everything is so hip and self aware.

You know what needs to come back or be remade? Feature length films that are animated, but not aimed at kids or families. I'm not talking about Anime. I'm talking about Wizards, Heavy Metal, Rock and Rule, Fire and Ice, Fritz the Cat....shit like that. I'd love to see someone make a new hand drawn/animated (none of this CGI bullshit) feature length film.

If you guys haven't seen Space Station 76, you really, really need to.

Egg Shen, I love your taste in movies.

I'm glad this thread ended up veering in the direction of "bad" movies. I always thought the goal of remakes should be to reexamine and rehabilitate interesting ideas that were fucked up the first time, not to remake movies that are actually, you know, well-executed and good.

A couple comments on movies mentioned earlier:

Starcrash is a weird one. You've got ex-child preacher (and subject of one of the most insane feature docs of all time) Marjoe Gortner in the bland hero role. You've got a really lovely score by John Barry that nevertheless sounds like it would be more appropriate serving as the love theme from a late '70s Harold Robbins miniseries. Then they somehow rope Christopher Plummer into a small role, and get Caroline Munroe to look distractingly sexy. I don't know why anyone would ever remake it, but if they do, they need to double down on the '70s cheese factor. Make it a 70s-looking, ridiculous-ass Star Wars knockoff with a winking self-consciousness. I mean, I usually hate movies that play "cute" about their own badness, but that's totally the route to go with this one.

Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone has a cool, very obviously Mad Max-inspired look. The production design is interesting and the vehicles are actually really cool. This movie always kind of reminded me of Waterworld for some reason. Anyway, Molly RIngwald is the ultimate vector of annoyance in this movie. Her character is do damn irritating. Seriously, I'd place her character among the most annoying sci-fi genre characters of all time. And the movie itself is hella corny, and, honestly, not in a totally endearing way.

Other trash movies that I'd like to see get remade:

Deathstalker II. Or, really, just a new entry in the Deathstalker series but with a return to the cheesy, cut-rate-Sam Raimi vibe of the second one. Keep the stupid jokes and dumb reference to Conan and Genghis Khan, definitely keep that needling little synth theme that gets repeated ad infinitum, maybe try to make it a little less sexist this time. And since I'm pretty sure each Deathstalker movie has a totally different dude playing Deathstalker, there's no need to worry about that, either. Cast who the fuck ever, that's your new Deathstalker. Also, get Julie Bell or Boris Vallejo to do the bitchin' 80s-style fantasy poster that totally and shamelessly misrepresents the movie and its performers. There is an enormous of dissonance between Deathstalker II, the movie, and Deathstalker II, the poster, because the poster literally has nothing to do with anything that's actually in the movie. And that makes it GLORIOUS.

Chopping Mall was, I think, by the same director as Deathstalker II, which explains the super-gross, sexist vibe that saturates it. Ditch that shit. However, the underlying idea of a state-of-the-art security robot that malfunctions and starts killing shoppers in an 80s shopping mall is genius. The robots themselves were really cool-looking. And, God help me, if they made this into some kind of Paul Blart vs. Chopping Mall crossover thing, I'd be there day fucking one.

The Legend of Billie Jean: I always thought this movie was kind of an underrated feminist minor masterpiece. Pretty sure the only reason I'm thinking of it is because of the chase scene in the mall (set to "Rebel Yell"), because I was just talking about Chopping Mall. But, yeah, remake it: I think they could have done more with the whole "poor teenage girl becomes some kind of righteous pop hero renegade fugitive" angle.

Black Moon Rising: As a kid, I loved the car from this movie. They should remake this fucker but double down on the 80s-ness. Gloss it up with a full-on outrun aesthetic, 3 AM car chases down streets where neon reflects off of wet, black asphalt, engines throttling underneath a dark synthpop score.

Bells: Nobody remembers this one, but it's an old Richard Chamberlain joint (oh, fuck, that reminds me--Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold remake, por favor) from the 70s about a serial killer who kills people by, like, calling them and playing a frequency through the phone that makes their heads explode or something. The original movie is actually pretty tame but I'd love to see it remade for the smartphone era, and just go over the top with the death scenes.

Fathom: The original was kind of a sexist piece of cheesecake, and the remake would have to be, too, I guess. But I also liked its breezy '60s vibe and all of the Mediterranean locations. Actually it's not too much of a stretch to see this getting remade with Kate Upton (who is apparently transitioning to acting) in the Raquel Welch role. Maybe give her character a little more agency to balance out the fact that the movie literally only exists to make its poor star go through a dozen costume changes. This would be total Razzie bait and would probably torpedo the career of half the people involved. A pity.

Other ideas:

She: the Cannon (I think?) version from the 80s with Sandahl Bergman. Make sure the remake's filmmakers are on the same drugs as the original crew.

Outland: because we need more space westerns, and because the original had a neat premise and setting but never quite gelled for me. Labor disputes and small-time narcotics rings aren't that much more interesting in space.

Conquest: the Fulci one, because it's weird as fuck, awkwardly ponderous and is nevertheless one of the best 80s sci fi/fantasy mashup movies. And because it's better than fucking Krull, which has inexplicably has become some kind of cultural cornerstone of 80s cult movies. Fuck Krull; watch Conquest. Krull probably will get remade, and you know that's going to be a goddamn trainwreck.

Cherry 2000 because fuck it, why not.

Outland...yeah...when I was a kid, I was never really sure if it was a science fiction movie or not. Sean Connery with a shotgun on the cover (not firing)...I finally saw it on ABC Sunday Night Movie and was like "this is not like ALIEN at all".

Didn't Carpenter write (but not direct) Black Moon Rising? That was definitely part of the 80s "super vehicle" trend (see also: Knight Rider, Airwolf, Blue Thunder, Firefox, etc.)

I've only seen Conquest in a really, really crappy VHS bootleg a couple of years ago...I did like it, but it seemed like Sword & The Sorcerer was the better picture. Quad sword and all that. What about Iron Master?

The Hunger might make for a good remake...not that the original is bad, but it's one of those movies that SEEMS better than it really is. Maybe it's because of the Bowie/Denueve thing. But it's actually not very good.

Oh man, Sword and the Sorcerer, I completely forgot about that one. That one's definitely in the upper tier of early-mid 80s fantasy flicks. It's also one that looks like a masterpiece if, say, viewed back to back with any of the Ator movies.

Motorik wrote:
Chopping Mall And, God help me, if they made this into some kind of Paul Blart vs. Chopping Mall crossover thing, I'd be there day fucking one.

I dunno about Sword and the Sorcerer, guys... I remembered liking it as a kid but I couldn't remember much about it besides the sword. Well I watched it like last summer and now I know why. There is nothing memorable about it. I think the sword gets like 4 seconds of screen time and it's at the end of the movie. I think. Because it was so forgettable. Hawk the Slayer was better.

Star Crash is pretty amusing. I think whoever wrote the script merely went to his backyard to watch his kids "playing spaceman" and wrote down everything they said. That's either good or bad depending on your perspective. Marjoe Gortner is this force of... anti-charisma or something. He's terrible but you can't take your eyes off him and his bizarre performance. Maybe the weirdest space hero in history. Then there's the cowboy robot (!). Mighty champion The Hoff makes his appearance at the halfway point - he was actually pretty good lol. Anyway, it's fun in spots (especially the Amazon planet) but it's draggy too.